5 Hints to Managing the Mental Load of the Holidays

The holiday season is here. For many people, the decorations, holiday music, and shopping bring warm feelings of joy and nostalgia. Moms/ the primary caregiver everywhere works tirelessly to give their families a memorable and joyful experience. This planning and extra running around coupled with the normal routine of everyday life can amount to a stressful mental load. To stay healthy & happy, moms must find ways to cope and keep this load manageable.  

Although in heterosexual couples' dads participate in the holidays, most families agree that moms still carry the brunt of the responsibility. The extra stress associated with the holidays and the feelings of guilt for not being able to do more lead to negative feelings. Incorporating the tips discussed in this article is a terrific way to manage the mental load of the holidays and properly self-care. 

5 TIPS TO MANAGING THE MENTAL LOAD OF THE HOLIDAYS: 

1. Practice Self-care. A perfect way for moms to manage a heavy mental load during the holidays is to relax. In other words, engage in activities that bring stress relief and comfort. Activities could include exercise, reading, listening to music, or any other hobby that is enjoyed. Breaking up hustle and bustle of planning with some self-care can do amazing things to reduce stress, anxiety, taking time for self-care rejuvenates and gives energy so that moms can then focus on their kids and families. 

2. Make a plan and stick to it. Like most stressful things, planning helps reduce part of the burden and worry. Moms who plan are more likely to keep their mental load in order. Having a list of tasks that need to be accomplished during the holiday season provides the structure needed to manage a heavy load. The crucial point here is to stick to the original plan. If new, things are constantly added, then having a plan, to begin with, is ineffective.  

3. Manage Expectations. One of the main causes of carrying a heavy mental load during the holidays is the fear of letting loved ones down. Moms are expected to buy the best present, plan an exciting trip, and prepare the most festive meal. The pressure of perfection can trigger an enormous amount of anxiety. Having the understanding that things will not turn out perfectly, because there is no such thing as perfect, is an important part of keeping the mental load in check. 

4. Be dedicated to the fact that the holidays are supposed to be joyous. The holidays are a happy time, or at least they should be. When things get tough though, take a moment or two to remember what is being celebrated. Having family and friends around during the holiday season is special and should be something to look forward to. If that idea is lost, then the whole concept of celebrating the holidays needs to be reevaluated. Sometimes the joy can be harder to find and that’s okay! During those not so joyous moments it would be a wonderful time to model how to handle the disappointments to your children. If children observe that you can be present and working through your feelings in real time, they too will start utilizing those skills. Additionally, if they see parents be happy during the holiday time it will teach children about the importance and beauty of the holidays. 

5. Delegate tasks. Do not take on everything alone. Having support during the holiday season is an effective way to help cope with things and create efficiency in getting things done. Give yourself grace to not be a “Super Mom;” just remember you are not alone. Utilize help when it is available for small, medium, or large tasks.  

Holiday time can sometimes trigger serious mental health issues such as depression or severe anxiety. This can occur for assorted reasons including past trauma, missing deceased family, or the high level of stress associated with the holidays. If symptoms should arise and feel different or worse than usual, consider seeking professional help. The experienced Obsidian Counseling & Wellness team has the skill set and expertise to provide the necessary therapeutic interventions needed to get these feelings under control.  

Moms will always carry a heavy mental load during the holidays. It comes with the territory. Being able to manage that load is challenging but doable with the right support. Following the tips provided in this article is a great start. More than anything else, enjoy this special time of year with family and loved ones. That is the most important thing to achieve. Happy Holidays. 

What Depression Looks Like In Teens & Young Adults

The transition period between being a child and becoming an adult can be nerve-racking. You may start to feel pressure from new responsibilities but are still being treated as a child by adults in your life. Major life changes or transitions can make you feel lost, and you may experience feeling or emotions you never felt before. Sometimes, this can even cause teenage depression.

Depression is one of the most common mental illnesses in young adults or teens. Symptoms of young adults’ depression may look different than when mental illness occurs later in life. Sadness or feeling like you need help is nothing to be ashamed about. Nearly 11% of young adults will experience depression. While that may not seem like a high percentage, one out of every ten young adults will be diagnosed with depression at some point. It may feel like you must fight this battle alone, or no one else knows how you feel, but people understand and want to help.

Although “depression” is a word commonly used in our social vocabulary it is a catch all word to describe/infer several distinct types of depression which, consist of various differing symptoms. Below are some of the more commonly understood depressive disorders and others that may not be as well known:

6 Types of depression

• Major depression disorder

  • sadness occurring within a two-week period where functioning has significantly changed from previous levels. You may notice a loss of interest or pleasure and feelings of sadness, emptiness, hopelessness, changes in weight (loss or gain), changes in sleep patterns (more or less), and poor concentration.

• Persistent Depressive disorder

  • symptoms of depression (as listed above) that last for at least one year in adolescents and two years in young adults.

• Premenstrual dysphoric disorder

  • in the majority of menstrual cycles a week before menses feeling suddenly sad, increased sensitivity to rejection, irritability, tearfulness, anxiety, and lethargy. The symptoms start to improve within a few days after the onset of menses or become minimal or absent post-menses.

• Substance/Medication-Induced Depressive Disorder

  • mood changes as a result of substance intoxication.

• Perinatal Depression

  • a depression that is triggered by physical and hormonal changes during and after pregnancy.

• Seasonal Affective Disorder/SEASONAL DEPRESSION

  • suffering from symptoms of depression during the winter months or when there is a decrease in natural sunlight.

Causes of young adult depression

There is no one cause of depression. However, we know that young adults and teens are faced with many life changes, like moving away from home for the first time or struggling with your identity. The life adjustments can lead to increased level of stress which can manifest into feelings of sadness, isolation, and loneliness. It is typical for anyone to experience "low" or "off" days. However, when these feelings persist, it can cause concern that there is something else going on. Often in adolescence and young adulthood, depression does not work alone. Other mental illnesses like anxiety or OCD may be diagnosed in tangent, which can worsen symptoms.

Adolescents that identify in the LGBTQ+ community are at an even higher risk of suffering from depression. In a 2022 national survey by The Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ youths reported experiencing symptoms of depression 58% of the time, and 45% had contemplated suicide this year. Challenges with depression may be due to oppression and discrimination at school or home. Teens in this community often do not feel heard or accepted for who they are or may not even feel safe enough to show their identity.

Adolescents who are frequently on social media may also be at a higher risk for developing depression. Social media presents an unrealistic version of people’s lives and teens looking at social media may feel like their lives are not as cool or fun. From 2010 to 2017, the rate of depression in adolescents increased by 57%. During this time, the rise of social media and influencers was also very prominent.

Common Symptoms of Depression

Everyone experiences depression differently, but there are common symptoms you may notice in yourself or others.

• Anxiety

• Sudden irritation or anger

• Difficulty concentrating

• Memory and decision

• Loss of interest in activities or hobbies

• Changes in sleep

• Changes in appetite

• A feeling of sadness or worthlessness.

• Lack of energy

• Aches, pains, stomach issues- depression can often manifest into physical problems.

• Thoughts of self-harm and/or suicide

Symptoms of depression often work together. For example, if you are struggling with making decisions, like deciding where you want to go to eat, feelings of anxiety may arise. This anxiety may lead to simply not wanting to eat at all. Or a lack of energy and inability to get up in the morning may happen because you were restless the night before or felt like you did not need to sleep.

Depression symptoms experienced by teens are also different than symptoms experienced by adults. Adults are more prone to experience insomnia and are often sad or withdrawn. Teens with depression may experience irritability or anger. They also may begin to lose interest in afterschool activities, or their grades may significantly change. It’s important to recognize the differences between depression at different stages in life because it may help explain the sudden changes in someone’s behavior.

How therapy can help

The right counselor will help identify what type of depression you are experiencing and help you work through your experience. A counselor uses various techniques that can help alleviate the symptoms.

A common approach to treating depression is talk therapy. Talk therapy is done by talking to your counselor about your whats going on in your life. Your counselor may provide you with tools to help you work through problems or roadblocks you may be experiencing.

Asking for help or looking for treatment is challenging. But all it takes is one step. If you or your teen is experiencing symptoms of depression, it is essential to reach out to get the help you need.

DEPRESSION THERAPY FOR TEENS AND YOUNG ADULTS IN CHICAGO, IL

Here at Obsidian, our therapists love what we do and we always do our best to give you the best we possibly can. Therefore, at our Chicago, IL, area therapy practice, we offer evidence based mental health services for adolescents struggling with depression and more. Additionally, we offer yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. Lastly, it’s also important to note that our therapists are LGBTQIA+ affirming.

BEGIN THERAPY FOR DEPRESSION WITH A SKILLED THERAPIST

So, if you are ready to begin therapy and looking for a therapist who can use truly evidence based practice in counseling sessions, we can help. Please, take the steps below to get started with in person or online therapy sessions.

1. Fill out a contact form or by calling our counseling practice at (224) 255-4411.

2. Begin therapy sessions with a skilled teen therapist.

3. Start you depression and creating a life you desire.

You deserve to find true healing. Going to therapy is never easy, but it absolutely can help and you working with a therapist using evidence based practice gives you the best possible route to feeling better. So, don’t stay stuck where you are right now. Reach out for support. Our therapists are here to help.

4 Tips for Transitioning from High School to College

Welcome to College

Congrats to you! Completing high school and moving on to college is an exciting time of life. There is newfound independence and opportunities to try different things. There are also new and challenging responsibilities. With so much change happening all at once, it is common to experience nervousness, hesitation, and anxiety at the mere thought of college. Managing these feelings can be difficult, but utilizing some important tips and tools is a good way to create a smooth transition.

4 Tips for Smooth Transitioning to College

1.     Fine-tune time management skills. Time management habits gained thus far will need to be adjusted and/or enhanced. College will test your time management skills almost immediately. Adapting to a new type of school schedule coupled with studying and other activities is a critical component of a smooth transition.

2.     Get involved. First off, make sure to attend class. It is not always easy to show up. Especially when taking attendance is not routine in most classes, particularly in large lectures. Attending class will help you become more comfortable with your peers and your surroundings. Additionally, joining clubs or extracurricular activities gives you opportunities to socialize and feel part of something.

3.     Take care of body and mind. You are now responsible for feeding yourself. A major component of a healthy lifestyle is diet. Ensure you eat healthily. This seems like a simple thing, but so many times nutrition is forgotten. Also, exercise or engage in an activity that relieves stress and makes you happy. Having a healthy body and mind is crucial for success.

4.     Use available resources when needed. You may need assistance adjusting to a new environment, or just managing emotions. Most colleges and universities have resources such as social workers, counselors, or other professionals with the experience and expertise in giving you the tools needed to succeed. Do not hesitate to seek out help if you exhibit feelings of being overwhelmed or overly anxious.

You Are Not Alone

It is very normal to experience homesickness and loneliness when starting college. Following the tips above is a good way to help combat those feelings. Remember that most of your cohort feels the same way and that you are not alone. Reach out to your support system or mental health specialists if needed. Starting college does not mean you have everything figured out and are fully ready to be on your own. It takes time and oftentimes requires help.

How Therapy Can Help

If you or a family member anticipate having a difficult time transitioning to college, attending therapy sessions prior may be something to consider. Therapy can help provide useful and constructive tools needed to adjust to new surroundings and a new way of life. The experienced team at Obsidian Counseling and Wellness is available to provide counseling and therapy to those who need some extra help adjusting to college life.

Therapy For Young Adults

Let’s Start with the gnawing, self reflective Questions, shall we?

What do I want out of a career?

What are my life goals and how do I achieve them?

Why do I not feel ready to live on my own?

How do I catch up with my friends and peers?

Who am I?

There can be so many questions! I know that is not an exhaustive list, but if you’re a young adult I don’t need to spell it out for you- you already get it.

Becoming an emerging adult can be scary and challenging and many young adults find themselves asking and relating to these very same questions. The transition from adolescence to adulthood is filled with rapid physical, cognitive and emotional changes. With many new roles and responsibilities, it is not surprising that young adults face lots of uncertainty.

Tough Transitions

With your newfound independence comes increased decision-making and accountability. As many young adults face big life transitions such as in their educations, careers, and social lives, their beliefs and values are tested by the introduction of new idea and identities. Yet, coming to terms with these transitions if often much harder than anticipated and continuously feeling unprepared or uncertain may lead to more serious mental health issues.

Emergence of Mental Health Issues

According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, emerging adulthood is often accompanied by the emergence of mental health issues at faster rates than older adults. Young adults are particularly vulnerable to being diagnosed with the following issues:

• Bipolar disorder

• Schizophrenia

• Substance abuse

• Eating Disorders

• Depression

• Anxiety

Each of these diagnoses are challenging in different ways and require treatment that is unique to the individual’s lived experiences.

How Can Therapy Help

The therapeutic relationship between a young adult and a licensed mental health professional may be helpful for acclimating to new sets of expectations. A therapist can help in several ways:

Confidence & Motivation

To build confidence in your abilities and motivation to work towards to your goals

Improvements

Identify areas for improvement and determine how to better your circumstances

Understanding

Understand core values and beliefs

Relationships

Making and maintaining healthy relationships

Feeling that someone else can relate to and understand your struggles is critical to your progress in your new phase of life. A mental health professional can provide the acceptance and help you navigate when the roads get a little bumpy ahead.

 CONSIDER YOUNG ADULT THERAPY IN CHICAGO, IL

Becoming an adult is hard work. Having someone impartial on your side to be your co-pilot in your new phase of life can be empowering. That’s why the online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL, offer therapy directed at helping you find your way in life, whether it be questions regarding your career, education, or who you are as a person in Illinois via online therapy. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home. Take the steps below to get started.

1.     Fill out a consult form here.

2.     Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3.     Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

OTHER SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks along their healing process. Specifically, we help people address anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.

5 Tips to Stop the Cycle of Imposter Syndrome

Do you ever say to yourself…

“Success is no big deal. It’s all down to luck.” 

“When are they going to find out I’m actually no good at this?”

“I feel like a fake.”

“I’m a fraud.”

“I must not fail.”

If you do you might be experiencing Imposter Syndrome. Also sometimes called “perceived fraudulence," imposter syndrome is a strong feeling of self-doubt and incompetence despite evidence to the contrary. That evidence may include your education, experience, or accomplishments.

Imposter syndrome is often found in high achieving people, women, and underrepresented racial, ethnic, religious, and gender and sexuality minorities. It overrides any feelings of success or external evidence of competence. It is marked by fears that past accomplishments will not be replicated or that others will find out or “unmask” a person as a fraud who does not actually know as much as everyone thought they did.

This internal struggle frequently contributes to increasing anxiety, depression, less risk-taking in careers, and burnout.

Anyone can be affected by imposter syndrome. It can be found in BIPOC individuals who work or study in predominately white spaces. It can be found in first-generation college students or white-collar employees. It can also be found in trans and nonbinary individuals who experience a pervasive fear of not being “man/woman enough” and therefore will not be seen by the world.

Does this sound like you?

Imposter syndrome is not uncommon. Some studies show as many as 82% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives. That’s basically everybody.

A Cycle of Anxiety, Depression and Burnout

The problem with imposter syndrome is it becomes a cycle. No matter how hard you work you always wind up in the same spot.

These constant swings of anxiety and depression wreak havoc on your body and your brain’s ability to function and cope. You may notice yourself late to work because you just couldn’t make yourself get out of bed or leave the house on time or get out of the car when you arrive.

That is your brain trying to protect you from what it sees as a highly negative and unpleasant space. Unfortunately, you may also interpret this as further evidence of your fraudulence in addition to repercussions for arriving late to work.

And while a little anxiety can galvanize us, too much wears out the system. Both your body and your mind become exhausted and this can lead to depression. Depression will then echo the feelings of being an imposter because depression is nothing if not a big, fat, negative liar.

 Overtime this continuous cycle of anxiety and depression will result in burnout. Burnout can then result in dropped productivity, fewer results, or more sick days. This then becomes a self-fulfilling prophesy of inadequacy that is difficult to recover from without help. Cleveland Clinic has some additional information on burnout.

Why Does Imposter Syndrome Happen?

How imposter syndrome develops in any given person is idiosyncratic, meaning it is unique to the individual. The why of imposter syndrome, however, is fairly straight forward: we are privy to our inner thoughts when nobody else is, and we know how much effort we put in because we were there the whole time.

The kicker, of course, is nobody else knows all of that unless we say something. But part of the fear of imposter syndrome is being found out as, well, an imposter. So, people who struggle with it find themselves incapable of sharing these experiences and doubts with others.

For BIPOC and queer individuals there is the added difficulty of being made to feel like a space was not build with them in mind. This study encourages a reconceptualization of imposter syndrome for these populations that moves away from internal insecurities—as has been the prevailing approach with white populations—towards the environmental factors that elicit these imposter feelings.

As an example, if an African-American interviews for an upper management position but everyone in the office is European-American it is natural to feel this space was not created with him in mind. Or for a Muslim who is subtly told by management she should not walk away from her desk to perform Salah (praying towards Mecca).

Imposter Syndrome Looks Different for Everyone

We can break down imposter syndrome into five basic types: the perfectionist, the expert, the natural genius, the soloist, and the super person.

The Perfectionist:

What it looks like: In this brand of imposter syndrome, you must be absolutely perfect. Otherwise, you could have done better. The perfectionist sets exceptionally high goals. When these goals are not met serious self-doubt sets in.

How to spot one: The perfectionist can…

• be accused of micromanaging,

• have difficulty in delegating,

• and feel their work must be 100% perfect 100% of the time.

 The accompanying thought: I’m not as good as others think I am.

 The Expert:

What it looks like: Here, imposter syndrome convinces the expert they must know everything that can possibly be known about a certain topic/subject. Otherwise, they have not mastered the subject and will be exposed as unknowledgeable or inexperienced.

How to spot one: The expert might… 

• shudder when called an expert

• shy away from applying for jobs unless they meet every single educational requirement,

• constantly seek trainings and/or certifications with the belief they need to improve their skills in order to succeed,

• still feel they don’t “know enough” even if they have been in their role for some time

The accompanying thought: If there is still more to learn then I’m not an expert.

The Natural Genius:

What it looks like: With this type, you may feel like a fraud because you don’t believe you are naturally intelligent or competent. This type judges competence by speed and ease rather than effort. If it takes too long to master, they feel shame.

How to spot one: The natural genius…

• is used to succeeding without much effort,

• was told they were the “smart one” as a child,

• feels shame and low confidence when faced with setbacks,

• avoids challenges because it is so uncomfortable to try something they aren’t great at,

• dislikes the idea of having a mentor because they can “handle things on their own.”

The accompanying thought: I didn’t get it right the first time. It’s taking me longer to master this skill than it should. I’m an imposter.

The Soloist:

What it looks like: The soloist is afraid to ask for help for fear they will be exposed as a phony.

How to spot one: The soloist…

• may firmly believe they need to accomplish everything on their own,

• frames requests for help in terms of requirements for the project/task at hand rather than their needs as a person,

• may rebuff offers to help by saying “I don’t need anyone’s help.”

The accompanying thought: If I couldn’t get here on my own am I really that competent?

The Super-Person:

 What it looks like: The super-person struggles with the belief they must be the hardest worker and/or reach the highest levels of achievement possible. They may also be convinced they are a phony hiding amongst others who are “the real deal.”

How to spot one: The super-person may…

• stay later at the office than anyone else even after completing the day’s necessary work,

• get stressed when not working and find “downtime” to be a complete waste,

• let hobbies and passions drop out of their lives in favor of work,

• and does not feel like they have truly earned their title/position despite a pile of achievements, and thus feel compelled to work harder and longer to prove their worth.

The accompanying thought: If I’m not the best I’m a fraud.

Can I Stop Feeling Like an Imposter?

Yes! You very much can. It will not be easy, but you absolutely can. Here are some steps to get you started:

Step 1: Focus on the Facts

Imposter syndrome tricks you into thinking you aren’t qualified for what you are doing. These emotions, however, are typically based in fear rather than fact. Separating your feelings from the facts is a great strategy for combating imposter syndrome.

Easier said than done, we know. You can start with some confidence building through your very own SWOT analysis. That’s “strength, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats.” It’s used by businesses but there’s no reason you can’t use it for yourself!

Step 2: Acknowledge, Validate, and Let Go:

The first step said to focus on the facts. However, that does not mean your feelings are not valid. Feelings are always valid. It’s just what we do with them that makes the difference. That means combating imposter syndrome is not about ignoring your feelings. It means acknowledging they are there but knowing they do not necessarily reflect reality.

For example, feeling unqualified does not mean you actually are. It is absolutely okay, and recommended, to say “I am feeling unqualified. That’s okay. Now I’m going to let those feelings go.”

Step 3: Reframe Your Thoughts

Thoughts are powerful. If they were not, we wouldn’t experience things like imposter syndrome. Thoughts shape how we see the world and ourselves, and thus shape our reality. Sometimes this is a positive thing and others it’s negative.

If you reframe your thoughts about yourself and set realistic goals your mind will change overtime and ultimately see yourself as deserving of your position/place/achievements.

For example, if you find yourself thinking “I don’t deserve this position” try “I may feel insecure right now but I would not have been placed in this position if I wasn’t capable.”

Step 4: Share How You Feel

Imposter syndrome can feel very isolating so this is, of course, easier said than done. Challenge yourself to reach out and talk to someone you trust and share your concerns.

This can be a colleague, a teammate, a supervisor, a friend or a partner. Sharing how you feel with another also provides a strange little confidence boost because you had the guts to do so! This is a direct attack on the isolation of imposter syndrome – good job!

Finding a mentor, if possible, can also be a good idea. Someone in your field that you look up to and can have a frank conversation with about how they have improved their skills and what challenges they have had.

We assure you that everyone struggles even if that thing is easy for them now. Yes, even, if they pretend they didn’t. It’s a fair bet that’s their own imposter syndrome talking.

Step 5: Learn from Your Peers

It’s hard not to compare ourselves to our peers. We often wind up thinking we’re the worst one by comparison. The truth is no one is a master at everything. But! Everyone is a master of something. You might be the office Excel guru or the one person on your team that can explain how to execute this play.

When working or engaging with your peers you can exchange your knowledge for learning new skills. Try to avoid the habit of comparing yourself to others. Acknowledge the value you add to the group while learning new things from your peers.

Step 6: Congratulate Yourself Once in a While

Combat your imposter syndrome head on – celebrate your accomplishments! The next time you feel good about something you’ve done share it with your colleagues or someone outside of that setting that you trust. Maybe treat yourself to a pizza!

If you believe your life is shaped by your actions, your choices, and your decisions you can then take responsibility for your achievements, as well. Take credit for the expertise and skill that helped you reach your goal or complete that project.

Another good idea is to keep a record of positive feedback and praise, even if it’s a brief “Good job!” text message. Then, the next time you hear that negative voice inside you can review those positive messages.

Can Obsidian Help Me Recover from Imposter Syndrome? 

All challenges are easier to overcome when you have a trusted partner at your back. Obsidian’s team of therapists are skilled and experienced with imposter syndrome. Professional, we mean, though maybe personally, too! 

CONSIDER Imposter Symdrome THERAPY IN CHICAGO, IL

Feeling like you are aren’t good enough can significantly impact your mental health. In this case, it may be helpful to seek counseling. That’s why the online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL, offer therapy directed at increasing self-confidence and decreasing those negative thoughts feeding the imposter syndrome in Illinois via online therapy. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home. Take the steps below to get started.

1.     Fill out a consult form here.

2.     Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3.     Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

OTHER SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks along their healing process. Specifically, we help people address anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.

8 Signs of a Highly Sensitive Person; Are You One?

Have you ever been told “you are too sensitive”, “stop overthinking”, “why do you cry so much” or “toughen up”? You could be one in the 15-20% of the population who identify as highly sensitive people/person (HSP).

Sensitivity also has a cultural aspect to it. In cultures where sensitivity is mocked, these negative messages can make HSPs have low self-esteem and made to feel like there is something wrong with them.

A highly sensitive person is someone who has an increased or deeper central system sensitivity to physical, emotional, or social stimuli. Being highly sensitive is not a disorder or a diagnosis. It is a personality trait and an innate temperament of a person like being an extrovert. The term highly sensitive person was first coined by Elaine and Arthur Aron in the mid 1990’s.

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF YOU ARE AN HSP?

This trait can look different in everyone but if you have these common characteristics, you could be an HSP:

• You avoid violent movies or TV shows because you feel them to be too intense and they leave you feeling unsettled

• You are deeply moved by beauty, be it classical music, art, nature or even a kind action

• You are easily overwhelmed by sensory stimuli like loud noises, bright lights, strong scents, or even uncomfortable clothing

• You often have a need for downtime after hectic or overstimulated busy days

• You feel an abundance of joy and excitement but can also be overcome by extreme sadness or disappointment

• You are attuned to the atmosphere in the room and are quick to notice minute changes in the mood of your family, friends, and coworkers.

• You feel anxiety and stress deeply

• You tend to beat yourself up when you fall short of self-imposed expectations.

WHAT CAUSES HIGH SENSITIVITY

Evolution has shown that this trait has its purpose in the survival of the human species. Having people in a group or community who are sensitive and observant to subtle changes whether it be weather related or in the moods of the people around them can help resolve problems early on. Having an HSP in a business or an organization can be incredibly beneficial for the same reasons because they are on the lookout for potential risks or threats.

High sensitivity is also hereditary. Research suggests that a high presence of a certain kind of dopamine receptors (involved in arousal and anxiety modulation) affects personality, making those individuals more prone to high sensitivity.

Additionally, a person’s genes may evolve in response to negative childhood experiences like neglect and trauma making them more susceptible to becoming an HSP.

HSPs CAN BE MISTAKEN FOR

Highly sensitive people can be confused for other personality traits and mental conditions, of which the most common include:

• Introvertism - HSPs and introverts are easily overwhelmed by social stimuli, but HSPs are also affected by other sensory factors like lights and sounds

• ADHD – though HSPs and people with ADHD have an over responsiveness to stimuli, HSPs do not show any cognitive impairment such as trouble focusing

• Autism – because of their response to sensory information, HSPs can be mistaken for people with autism. A key difference between the two is that individuals with autism can be hyposensitive or hypersensitive.

THE SUPERPOWERS A HSP POSSESS And ADVANTAGES OF BEING AN HSP

The characteristics of HSPs can create feelings of being overwhelmed and anxious about the world but they can also add a lot of richness and complexity to their inner lives too. HSPs have a greater ability to listen and affirm, a greater empathy and intuitiveness, and a better understanding of wants and needs of others. Being an HSP can offer strengths in relationships and in-depth processing of information.

HOW CAN THERAPY HELP

If you are tired of being overwhelmed and frustrated with yourself because of these characteristics, therapy can help greatly. For many highly sensitive people emotional immunity and sensory immunity strategies to calm and alleviate overstimulation can be key. Another key superpower of being an HSP is they are better able to benefit from psychological interventions, such as counseling. They are better attuned to their feelings. So, therapy can support you in understanding who you are with compassion and caring and also challenge you to explore your inner strengths. You can add tools to your back pocket that can help you such as:

• Help you set up a soothing and calm space

• Help you find work-life balance

• Believe in yourself and your trait

• Reframe your childhood

• Heal from past and present experiences

• Enjoy life more

• Be more relaxed

• Help you focus on your goals

• Add focused positivity to your life

• Help you have better relationships

• Develop boundaries so you can avoid stressors 

Consider Counseling for Highly Sensitive People in CHICAGO, IL

Self-care and mental health are connected: being a highly sensitive person may become too overwhelming that it may be hard to overcome on your own. In this case, it may be helpful to seek counseling. That’s why the Aparna Bhaskaran and our other online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL, offer therapy directed at increasing your mindfulness and stress busting strategies in Illinois via online therapy. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home. Take the steps below to get started.

1. Fill out a consult form here.

2. Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3. Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

OTHER SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks along their healing process. Specifically, we help people address anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.

C-PTSD Isn’t Forever: EMDR is the Path to Permanent Healing

C-PTSD, or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, is on the list of most difficult, challenging, and life-interfering mental health conditions one can experience.

1 in 11 people in the United States will receive a PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) or C-PTSD diagnosis during their life time. That is about 30 million people. More than the entire state of Texas.

PTSD is typically associated with a single, one-time event or set of similar events in a brief span of time. As the name states, C-PTSD is more complex. So, what makes C-PTSD different and all the more difficult? And what is trauma, exactly? For the answer to that, check out this blog post from June, 2022.

Trauma – Everyone’s Doing It!

We cannot talk about trauma without addressing the biggest of all myths about it: if you do not have PTSD than you do not have trauma. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Everyone does, in fact, experience trauma during their lifetimes. It just does not always turn into post-traumatic stress. 

If Everyone Has trauma, Why Do I have PTSD?

Post-traumatic stress is what we call a group of symptoms that result from the brain having an extra hard time working through unprocessed trauma. “Unprocessed” is the key word. We said previously we all experience traumatic events in life. Usually, our brains are able to work through them just fine and get on with life. But that is not always the case, and it is nobody’s fault.

There are too many factors that go into whether a traumatic event causes post-traumatic stress than we can even begin to account for. It can be things as simple as not getting a good night’s sleep, or work stress, having to return to the site of the trauma.

So, it is nobody’s fault and it 100% not a sign of weakness or ineptitude. The brain is the most complex and amazing piece of biomechanics in the known universe. It does it’s very, very best but sometimes needs a software upgrade. Which we can do! But first, let’s further define CPTSD.

What Makes Complex PTSD Different?

The overarching difference between PTSD and C-PTSD is the number of instances and the time span of them. C-PTSD arises from multiple, repeated episodes of interpersonal trauma over a long period of time, such as childhood. C-PTSD commonly develops from events throughout childhood though that is certainly not a requirement and C-PTSD can happen from events in adulthood, as well.

The types of trauma that can result in C-PTSD symptoms include:

• Abuse

• Neglect

• Abandonment

• Domestic violence or other ongoing abuse

• Torture

• Kidnapping

• Living through a war

• Prolonged refugee status

Experiencing any of these during childhood greatly increases the chances of developing CPTSD. Why? Simply put, a child’s incomplete brain development and on-going identity formation. There is more to it than that, of course, but a more complete explanation would require a much longer and academic write up than we have space here.

A useful tool for gauging the level of trauma in one’s childhood is the Adverse Childhood Experiences scale (ACE). It is a ten-question measure that can offer a window into one’s odds of developing both physical and mental health problems later in life, such as C-PTSD. The higher the score the more likely these problems will develop, though this is of course not a perfect predictor.

What is EMDR and How Can it Heal C-PTSD?

Remember how we talked about the need up a software upgrade on our brain? Meet EMDR!

EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is an intense but brief therapeutic intervention designed to be used in conjunction with other forms of therapy. “Brief,” of course, varies person to person, however, EMDR is still well-researched, safe, and has a proven track record with post-traumatic stress, including C-PTSD.

This link will take you to the two-page handout that we give clients to explain EMDR.

In short, EMDR is a way to safely access traumatic memories and perform the mental processing the brain was not able to do the first time. In the case of adverse childhood experiences, you are now bringing all of your adult brain development, adult knowledge, insight, coping, and skill to bear on these memories you were in no way equipped to handle at the time. 

And the key is safely.

EMDR is Safe, then?

There are some people for whom EMDR is not a good choice. That is something to discuss with the administering therapist. Part of their job is to determine whether this is a good intervention for you. But, yes, it is safe, if performed by a licensed therapist trained in EMDR.  And extensively researched with over 30 double-blind studies (the most rigorous type of scientific study there is) that have demonstrated at least some kind of treatment benefit from using EMDR.

Both the World Health Organization (WHO) and the Department of Veteran Affairs (VA) also validate EMDR as an effective treatment modality. This short news segment also shows Prince Harry of the British royal family engaging in EMDR to help process the trauma of his mother’s death. Take a look to see an example of the butterfly hug technique.

But I Have So Many Memories. How Do I Process Them All?

That is the difficulty with C-PTSD, isn’t it? It’s not just one episode, or a few. It’s traumatic experiences that happen again and again over the span of months or even years.

So that’s a good question, and one we get frequently. One of the beauties of EMDR is that the healing generalizes. You will absolutely not have to attempt to remember every single incident of abuse, neglect, fear, etc.

EMDR uses something called a “touchstone memory” that may represent a whole series of events to you. Some clients will choose to start with the “worst memory,” instead, or the “earliest,” or even the least disturbing and work their way back.

Each time a specific “target memory” is successfully processed others like it will become easier and easier. Kari had a client who started with the “least disturbing” of a series of trauma events and by the time they got to the “worst” memory it was processed faster than all the others!

How Does EMDR Therapy In Chicago, IL Work?

To keep it simple let’s go letter by letter:

E and M – Eye Movement. Your EMDR-trained therapist will use gentle physical, auditory, and/or visual stimulation to get your eyes to move back and forth. This is called bilateral stimulation or BLS.

Yes, this sounds like hypnotism but please bear with us. This movement activates both sides of your brain and primes it for the next phase…

D – Desensitization. EMDRIA explains this phrase as dealing with “all of the person's responses (including other memories, insights and associations that may arise) as the targeted event changes and its disturbing elements are resolved.”

Kari, our EMDR therapist, describes this phase as mentally picking up all of the papers that have been dropped and scattered across the floor.

R – Reprocessing. This is where the eye movement gets really important. This is where the client briefly focuses on the trauma or disturbing memory while simultaneously engaging in BLS. This is associated with a reduction in the vividness and emotional intensity associated with the disturbance being addressed.

Kari explains this as putting the papers in order, placing them in the correct filing cabinets, and then closing the drawers.

EMDR does not make you forget all of those memories but it takes the heat and the intensity out of them, and moves them from a near re-lived experience to its appropriate place in the brain as just a memory.

Why Might EMDR Be a Good Choice?

EMDR therapy is a short-term therapeutic intervention that is meant to be used in conjunction with other forms of therapy. Because it helps a client delve deep into the brain it can accomplish some kinds of healing faster than traditional talk therapy.

However, again, it is an intense form of therapy and not everyone is suited for it nor wants to do it. The beauty of EMDR is that it is up to you.

Can I Do Online EMDR at Obsidian?

Absolutely! Kari Holman is our resident trauma and EMDR therapist in Chicago, IL. Even if EMDR is not the right choice for you she would still love to be a part of your healing.

CONSIDER EMDR THERAPY IN CHICAGO, IL

CPTSD, PTSD and any sort of trauma can significantly impact your mental health. In this case, it may be helpful to seek counseling. That’s why Kari Holman, and the online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL, offer therapy directed at decreasing traumatic stress in Illinois via online therapy. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home. Take the steps below to get started.

1.     Fill out a consult form here.

2.     Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3.     Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

OTHER SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks along their healing process. Specifically, we help people address anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.

Playful Tips From An Online Therapist Suggesting Recess for Adults

“A laughing body is an inhospitable host to negativity and stress” (Beilock, 2017).

 Take a moment to think about the last time you went outside for a scheduled recess in school. The excitement of getting out of the fluorescent lighting and into the outdoors for unstructured play until the ring of the bell or the call of a teacher summoned you back inside. It's hard for me to remember myself. However, my 7th and 8th-grade middle school no longer had a playground, so I think that the scheduled play time started to ween off around that time.

The “Guilty Pleasure” That is Play For Adults

As adults, we rarely get time out of our schedules specifically for play as adults. Instead, it's something we must seek out. Play is often seen as childish, unproductive, and petty and often is vailed with terms such as guilty pleasure. Why must childishness be viewed as a negative? Tamis-LeMonda suggests that children have the right idea when it comes to playing. She states,

 “They live in the moment. There doesn't have to be a final goal, and they play for the sake of play. The truth is, play is being joyfully immersed in the moment, and as adults, we rarely do that."

 

Can Play Benefit My Life?

This is true! Being fully immersed in the moment has excellent mental health benefits, as does play. Here are just some of the benefits of incorporating more play into your life:

• Releases endorphins -happy chemicals- that make you feel good and elevate your mood

• Decreases stress levels

• Improves brain function

• Improves your relationships

• Stimulates your mind

• Boosts activity

• Increases Energy

What is Play?

Play is often challenging for people to pin down because it is not something that is precisely defined. Play is a mindset and a process rather than one form of activity. Play is voluntary and pleasurable. This is key to understanding why play looks different from person to person. For example, art is a form of play for many individuals; however, if one is commissioned to make a specific art piece for their occupation, this may move the activity outside of the realm of play for the professional artist. Another example is a soccer player playing for the game's challenge, enjoyment, and community versus a soccer player whose sole goal is to win.

Play is the mental approach to activities. The mindset of play often includes wanting to have fun and connecting to joy; the activity will look different from person to person.

A Very Short List of the Endless World of Play

Still, feeling stumped? Here are some ideas for play:

• Play games

  • Board Games

  • Sports

  • Try creating games with those around you

    • A race to the end of the block

    • A game with a ball

    • Have a dance battle

• Carve time out for a hobby

  • Crafts

  • Music

  • Photography

  • Collecting

• Schedule time in a park

• Joke with strangers

  • At the bus stop

  • In the checkout line

• Play with a pet

• Try a new recipe

• Solve puzzles

• Play with young people

  • Since we are borrowing a mindset from children, sometimes it helps to play with them to remember what it’s like

• Be present

• Do something fun with others

I can go on and on; think about what play looks like or can look like for you in your life.

The Benefits of Play; The Three C’s

Yolanda Tyler describes the benefits of play using three C’s:

Community

Play can strengthen our relationships, aid in developing the community, and strengthen our social wellbeing. Play in a community can take many forms, such as a game night with friends, a sports league, arts and crafts, and so much more. Early on, play is one of the first ways we connect with others; when we were younger, we would ask if we could "go play" with our friends. However, over time that language changes, thus removing the emphasis on play. Play reminds us of cooperation with others. There are rules that the community agrees upon to create the spaces in which the play can exist. Play and laughter are essential in building strong and healthy relationships.

Creativity

Play fosters an environment for one to be creative and problem-solve. Through play, our brain can explore new pathways that can lead us to different solutions, ways of thinking, and empathy that would not otherwise be possible without it. Play allows for a safe space to explore and think differently; this is essential to working and daily life. Seems counterintuitive, right? Sometimes to move forward when I'm stuck at work, I need to take a break to play. You might think you do not deserve it; however, setting up time in your day to think differently outside of the work context may just be your way forward.

Cognitive Development

 As previously mentioned, play has been proven to improve brain function, stimulate your mind, and decrease stress levels. Through play, we can strengthen our thinking skills, as well as how to put various skills into practice. Empathy is another skill that is often practiced through play. Through play, one can experience a wide range of emotions in a protected environment, and those emotional regulation skills can translate into one's daily life.

Have I Convinced You To Play Yet?

Long story short, there are so many different reasons that one may benefit from play. While the amount of play each day may vary, a good goal is to incorporate a playful mindset in your day-to-day. Incorporating play into your daily life is an investment in your overall mental and physical well-being. Play is for everyone and most certainly is not a waste of time. So, the question is: What will your “recess” look like?

CONSIDER PARENT THERAPY IN CHICAGO, IL

Self-care and mental health are connected; sometimes, parental stress or burnout may become big enough that it may be hard to overcome on your own. In this case, it may be helpful to seek counseling. That’s why Bailey Seymour, Ilyssa Lasky, and the online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL, offer therapy directed at increasing your confidence and helping you learn to play again in Illinois via online therapy. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home. Take the steps below to get started.

1.     Fill out a consult form here.

2.     Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3.     Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

OTHER SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks along their healing process. Specifically, we help people address anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.

5 Self-Care Tips For Parents To Ease Stress & Burnout From A Parent Counselor

Transitioning into the role of parent can be exciting and overwhelming; young people require a great deal of care and attention. Suddenly, your main job is to take care of your kids. This leads parents to restructure their priorities, often moving self-care to the bottom of the list. On social media, self-care is often portrayed as self-indulgence and spoiling oneself. To a parent, this view of self-care may feel frivolous and selfish.

However, I’d like for us to take a moment to reframe self-care from a luxury to a necessity. It is not something that is added to your day as a reward but is woven into each day.

‘True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake; it is making a choice to build a life you don't need to regularly escape from' – Brianna Wiest

Adults need to be cared for just as much as their children. The only difference is that adults can make choices throughout their day to check in with and take care of themselves. If you ask a parent to go a day without taking care of their child, they will look at you shocked and rightfully so.

However, many parents go daily without tending to their needs physically, psychologically, emotionally, socially, professionally, and spiritually. These are necessities for feeling your best. I know that list may sound as if they are more things to add to that never-ending to-do list. However, in the long run, taking care of oneself prevents burnout, makes you feel like your best self and strengthens your relationship with your children.

Why is Self-Care Important for Parents from a parent counselor?

Self-care is connected to mental health; self-care can help to prevent burnout. Growing up, we are taught that we just must do some things: we have to brush our teeth each day, sleep, eat, and see the doctor. However, we often are not told to check in with how we feel or to have compassion for ourselves. By prioritizing self-care just as much as the other necessities, we can feel like our best selves, which will help us be the best parents we can be.

What is Caregiver Burnout?

Burnout, or caregiver burnout, is described as an occupational phenomenon, and if you’re reading this you know being a parent is a full-time job. Parents experiencing burnout may feel:

• Exhaustion or energy depletion that won’t go away

• Increased feelings of negativism, cynicism, or mental distance

• Reduced efficacy

• Increased procrastination and avoidance

• Jealousy of others, i.e., the myth of the "supermom."

• Sense of helplessness

As a parent, this may also look like a change in sleeping or eating habits. Feeling physically unwell with dizziness, an upset stomach, or headaches. Feeling anxious, guilty, unhappy, or lonely. And feeling irritated, withdrawn, sad, or angry for extended periods. Burnout is different than stress. Stress is short-term, and when we experience stress, we can identify an end to the situation and feeling. Burnout is a long-term process and is built up over time. Stress often springs individuals into action and anxiety response, while burnout often results from extended periods of prolonged stress leading to disengagement and blunted or distant emotions.

Teaching your Children Self-Care

The best way to teach your children about self-care is to model it yourself. Through watching you prioritize self-care, your children will also give those habits and behaviors value as they grow. For example, some of your self-care routines can parallel those that you set with your children. This may look like having a family dance party, making a healthy meal together, or taking a family nap after school. Working self-care into your children's lives and your own will make self-care a habit rather than something you can do "if time allows."

Build Your Toolbox: Find Self Care Strategies that Work For you

We've established that self-care does not always need to mean treating yourself, but what else can it be? Below, I've broken self-care down into some categories. For example, starting a habit of self-care may look as simple as choosing one thing from each category to implement daily. Each category includes a few examples of how one may implement that category of self-care. Your self-care will be unique to you, so allow yourself to implement self-care in ways that feel right.

Connect

• Call a loved one you haven’t seen in a while

• Set up a date night with your partner

• Talk to a neighbor

• See a friend

• Join a team, class, volunteer group, etc.

• Connect with coworkers

Move

• Take a walk

• Dance around your kitchen

• Go for a bike ride

• Play the music for a line dance like the YMCA or Macarena (a great one to do with your family)

• Yoga

• Exercise

Recharge

• Try and get enough sleep when possible

• Take breaks to ground yourself

  • Check into your breath

  • What can I see, feel, smell, hear, taste?

  • What does my body feel like?

  • Take a moment to breathe

• Take a break from screens

• Meditate

Maintain

• Set up your doctor’s appointments

• Brush your teeth

• If applicable: take your daily medications

• If applicable: do your physical therapy exercises

• Seek counseling

Play

• Play with your kid’s toys after they go up to bed

• Watch or play a sport

• Play a card or board game with a friend or partner

• Video game time

• Make art

CONSIDER PARENT THERAPY IN CHICAGO, IL

Self-care and mental health are connected; sometimes, parental stress or burnout may become big enough that it may be hard to overcome on your own. In this case, it may be helpful to seek counseling. That’s why the online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL, offer therapy directed at increasing your confidence and helping you make friends in Illinois via online therapy. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home. Take the steps below to get started.

1.     Fill out a consult form here.

2.     Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3.     Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

OTHER SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks along their healing process. Specifically, we help people address anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.

5 Tips for Parents To Ease Back To School Anxiety from a Parent Counselor

It always feels like summer just started, whether its on the last day of school or the last week before school reopens. Living in Chicago, we go through the grueling 7, 8 maybe even 9 months of winter, knowing that summer will be waiting with open arms, with the warm lake Michigan’s breeze, lush lawns, beautiful flowers (especially at the Chicago Botanic Gardens), music and art festivals, hikes and so many things.  

We also know that the end of summer brings the return to routine: the start of school, a year of learning and growing, of after-school activities, Fall Ball games, tutors and the mad rush of juggling work, home, and kids’ activities.

So as August rolls around, it is only natural to feel a sense of urgency to soak in every bit of sun and fun. As the weather turns we may find ourselves with a little sadness realizing that we (the kids especially) have grown up a tad bit more.

Back To School Anxiety

The anticipation of getting back to school can trigger an uptick in anxiety in children. If your child comes to you with, ‘Do I HAVE to go to school?’ or ‘Can I just stay home with you?’, know that these questions are normal. Changed and adjustment from summer mode to school mode can be really challenging for all of us. Given that we are still struggling with the aftermath of a pandemic and other such social uncertainties and the overwhelming impact it has had on our mental health, some extra anxiety among children can be expected.

WHAT IS ANXIETY, Again?

Anxiety is a common human emotion of fear, worry and apprehension about what is to come. It is not indicative of any underlying condition or disorder. It can be mild and fleeting or severe and debilitating.

A certain amount of anxiety that is proportionate to the situation you are in can have a positive impact. It is hardwired into our brains (hello, neurons) and helps us be alert and aware so we can detect and attend to threats and avoid danger. These warning properties of anxiety help us focus on important details when making life-changing decisions such as buying a home, interviewing for a new job, or deciding to move to a new city. Do we mull over these choices, playing out every scenario and listing out pros and cons? Yes! That’s our anxiety and it makes us feel secure in our choices afterwards. Imagine feeling no anxiety. You would sift through these decisions with minimal considerations and might end up missing some important detail.

Anxiety can also be a motivation booster and can enhance performance. Research shows that school athletes who have a little anxiety do better at their sporting events. This is due to the surge in adrenaline and the action of the sympathetic nervous system that gets our heart pumping and pushes us to do our very best.

However, some of us find it hard to control our anxiety and it becomes second nature to us. Always feeling on edge and keyed up with worrying thoughts can affect daily life and can be draining.

 HOW DOES ANXIETY SHOW UP IN KIDS?

Anxiety does not discriminate on the basis of age. It can be seen in people ranging from infancy to adulthood.

Back to school anxiety is common and understandable. It is familiar and age old, that is a rite of passage for every school-going kid and their parent(s). Even the most easy-going kid has some butterflies in their stomach on the first day of school. Be it the transition from summer to school, starting school for the first time, a new school, absence of a friend in class, past experiences with a bully, etc., young children have a lot on their minds. Teens worry about navigating peer and group friendships, romantic relationships, an increase in workload and academic expectations, to name just a few.

Some children get over these anxious concerns fairly quickly as they settle into a routine and make friends, while others struggle a little more. As a parent, you can look for signs to gauge if your child needs additional help to better understand and support them in this transition.

WHAT DOES A PARENT COUNSELOR RECOMMEND YOU LOOK FOR?

Anxiety can take on different faces, making it complex to identify. It can be easier to identify in a nervous or clingy child, a child who needs constant reassurance, or in a child who starts having trouble with bedwetting. Other times, it can be hard to identify or pinpoint because it looks like something else altogether. Some of the signs, you and teachers can look out for are:

Inattention:

Very often, fidgetiness and squirminess are jotted down as symptoms of ADHD. But an anxious child can display these very same phenomena as a result of their worried thoughts, making it hard for them to concentrate in class.

Disruptive behavior:

When children are feeling anxious and don’t know how to regulate their emotions, the amygdala, which is the part of the brain that controls stress responses, automatically gets activated. This releases hormones that prepare the body for a flight or fight response. So, when a child is anxious in school, it can show up as aggressiveness such as picking fights, throwing tantrums or breaking things.

Falling behind on homework:

Anxious children are often very self-critical. They doubt their abilities and are scared to be judged by their peers and/or their teachers. As a result, they don’t want to turn in their homework and/or can fall behind on their schoolwork. This behavior can sometimes be mistaken for laziness or disinterest.

Falling sick often:

Anxiety can cause an increased heart rate, sweatiness of the palms and shortness of breath. It can also present as a bunch of symptoms that affect our physical body, perhaps not as obviously as the ones listed above. If a child is having unexplained headaches, upset stomach, muscle soreness and/or nausea, these could be symptoms of anxiety.

TIPS FOR PARENTS FROM A PARENT COUNSELOR

As parents, you can help ease your children into the new school year. Encouraging them to share their thoughts about what troubles them and validating them is a great way to keep the door open for future conversations. Some children will be ready to share every minute detail of their day with you, while others will answer in monosyllables or single-word responses. Either way, they are taking it in and listening to you. You are showing them that you are there for them and are ready to have discussions on feelings and emotions.

A few strategies that have proved useful for me have been:

Preparing for the new school routine:

Summer times call for movie nights, beach trips and late bedtimes. For young children, talking about the start of the school year a few weeks prior and preparing them for the upcoming routine can help. Think about using a ‘social story’ which allows you use story telling to walk them through what they should expect during the first day of school. It may sound something like this:

Tomorrow morning you will wake up for school. You may feel different feelings. I will walk into your room and say good morning to you and give you a big hug! You will then go to the bathroom, brush your teeth, have some eggs for breakfast and we walk together to school.

When we get to school, your teacher will say hello to you and you will sit with your friends on the lawn until everyone is ready to go inside together. Then, you will spend the day learning in your classroom, have lunch, and soon enough I will be back at 3:00 p.m. to pick you up from school.

You can include any information you want in the social story. You can even include information about bathroom breaks during school, cafeteria chaos, standing in lunch lines, and packing up for dismissal in the social story.

Additionally, we start going to bed at the time we would on a ‘school night’. Less sleep can cause crankiness and increase vulnerability to anxiety. A few weeks before school starts, we visit the school a few times and talk about school bus schedules, pickups, and after-school activities. We slowly start ‘screen withdrawal’ a few days before start of school.

Being positive:

We talk about the things we miss about school – favorite teachers, PE classes, art activities and playground time. We go shopping for school supplies together and maybe get a new lunch bag or school bag and pick out a back-to-school outfit. These activities can help kids focus on exciting things to look forward to that are associated with school.

Connecting with friends:

Assure your kids that they are not alone. Their friends are probably ‘nervous-excited’ too about the start of school.

We try to meet with a couple of friends at a playground the week before school starts to help them get back in touch with each other. The first day back to school can be a great day to meet other parents in your child’s class and to exchange phone numbers to set up future playdates.

Extra TLC the first few weeks:

The first few weeks back at school is hard for most kids. We get ice cream or have a picnic in our backyard to celebrate the first day of school. We can help our kids transition smoothly by having a parent or a family member be home when they are done with school in the initial days, to talk about all the things that happened at school.

Most Importantly- Being kind to yourself:

Back to school can be taxing and exhausting for parents as well. Take some time for self-care and relax. When your child sees a calm and smiling parent, waiting to hear all about their day, it can help ease their anxiety. But also remember that it is natural to feel frustrated and anxious yourself when dealing with a child, who is throwing a tantrum or refusing to listen. Reminding ourselves that these can be signs of anxiety and stepping away from the situation to practice some mindful breathing can model calming behaviors to our children.

SCHOOL ANXIETY IN MIDDLE- AND HIGH SCHOOLERS

In addition to the stressors that elementary school-aged children face, preteens and teens have the added stress of knowing what is happening in the broader world through social media. The number of thoughts that these young people deal with while carving out and coming into their own identities is many. Anxiety in this age group can be exhibited as challenging behaviors like rebellion, defying authority, skipping school or even self-harm.

We have a whole blog on how anxiety presents in teens, the strategies that will help them, and when to seek counseling.

WHEN TO START COUNSELING FOR PARENTS OR TEENS

Back-to-school anxiety should settle down after the first few weeks of the start of school. If it persists and starts to interfere with your child’s willingness and ability to participate in daily activities like going to school, extracurricular classes, sports, and other social relationships, it might be time to get some help for your child. Your pediatrician or school counselor can help find a mental health professional who specializes in childhood anxiety.

Thankfully, anxiety can be managed well when you and your child have the right coping tools in your back pocket. You don’t have to do it alone. There are plenty of resources available to support you and your child’s journey to wellness.

Teen and Parent Counseling Services in Chicago, IL

At Obsidian Counseling, we have experienced therapists who can help you and your child with combating these school stressors and helping in a path to recovery. We will be happy to answer any questions your family may have about counseling for anxiety.

If you are feeling overwhelmed or need help working through some of life's challenges, please reach out for counseling services. If you live in the state of Illinois, our Glencoe & Chicago-based therapists would love to help. Our therapists believe in providing evidence-based therapy with compassionate empathy and a nonjudgemental approach to sessions.

If you are ready to begin therapy, please take the steps below to get started:

1. Fill out a consult form here.

2. Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3. Begin working toward better mental health!

Other Mental Health Services in Illinois

Our therapists offer a wide range of mental health services to support your entire family focusing on providing evidence-based care including incorporating mindfulness as well as other effective therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and EMDR. addition to anxiety treatment and teen therapy, we also offer counseling for depression, teen counseling, parent counseling, trauma therapy, therapy for work burnout & more. Because we offer online therapy, we are able to help anyone in the state of Illinois. And, our therapists specialize in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals.

So, whatever your mental health needs may be, if you live in Illinois we'd love to provide you the support you're looking for. 

Empathy and Compassion: Aren’t They The Same & How To Practice Them When Uncertain

Empathy and compassion are often confused for each other. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the same feelings with another person. Compassion is thought of to be the emotional response to another person’s pain which then creates a desire to help. There is lots of overlap between the two but what is it that sets them apart?

3 Types of Empathy

The first main difference between compassion and empathy is that there are three kinds of empathy. Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman have identified these three kinds of empathy as cognitive, Emotional, and compassionate. Compassionate empathy is what we typically think of when we think about compassion.

Cognitive Empathy

Cognitive empathy consists of knowing how another person feels and being able to identify what they may be thinking. For example, if a friend has recently lost a family pet, cognitive empathy enables you to know they may be feeling sad or hurt. Cognitive empathy is often referred to as “perspective taking” since it allows you to put yourself in another person’s shoes.

Emotional Empathy

Emotional empathy differs from cognitive empathy because you physically feel the emotions another person may be experiencing. This is the type of empathy that makes us jump when you see your favorite sports player fall and injure themselves during a game. You may have experienced the physical pain or sensation of injuring yourself in a similar way which is why you may grimace when you see them fall. You do not need to have experienced the same exact injury or way you were injured, but everyone has experienced physical pain before, and emotional empathy allows us to identify similarities between situations to understand how the other person is feeling. Emotional empathy does not only apply to physical situations though. Many emotions are so strong that one can also feel them physically. Emotional empathy also applies to when you can feel and experience these emotions as well.

Cognitive and emotional empathy are able to come together to form compassionate empathy.

Compassionate Empathy

Compassionate empathy is what we typically think of when we hear the word “empathy”. It is also what is typically confused for simply compassion. While the names may be similar, there is a difference. Compassionate empathy is when you combine the qualities of cognitive and emotional empathy and then act towards trying to help. So, you have put yourself in the other persons shoes and have identified their pain, physically feeling, or experiencing their emotions, and now you are ready to reach out and offer help. This is where compassion plays a role in empathy. The act of reaching out or simply having the desire to help someone experiencing pain is compassion.  Empathy is good on its own, but to really help and make a difference to others compassion needs to come in and play a role.

How To Practice Compassionate Empathy

Practicing compassionate empathy is easy. Let’s say that your neighbor recently lost a loved one. You may have also been in a similar situation in the past, so you understand the grief and emotional distress it causes. Think about what could have helped you during this time. Maybe cook a meal and drop it off or offer to walk their dog so it is one less thing on their to do list.

Examples of practicing empathy and compassion in daily life

Practicing compassion today can seem like a daunting task. Differing political affiliations or general values can cause us to stay away or only socialize with people with similar views as us. Right now, our world feels like it is in a constant state of chaos and uncertainty. No matter whether you agree with someone’s values or not, everyone deserves kindness and compassion. Instead of isolating ourselves, reach out and check in with your neighbors. Keeping in touch with people and letting them know you care can make a significant impact. You never know what someone else is going through, but everyone can benefit from some compassion.

1. Reach out to a friend or family member you haven’t talked to in a while.

Ask them how they are doing or what is new in their life. Invite them to get a coffee or go on a walk. It may lead to a fun conversation where you both can catch up. With the amount of uncertainty in the world today, most people just want to talk and be heard. You can be the one to provide them with a space to do that.

2. Perform random acts of kindness

These can be done anywhere like the grocery store or gas station. If you see someone struggling with something, physically or emotionally, perform a random act of kindness to brighten their day. This could be as small as offering to carry their groceries or paying for their gas. You could also leave a note with a nice message in a random person’s mailbox. You may not see the effects it has on the person, but it could make a big difference to their day.

3. Help the environment

Humans aren’t the only ones who benefit from some compassion. Show the environment some love too. Pick up litter that may be outside or remember to recycle your water bottles. Cleaning up the environment not only helps the earth, but it makes the area nicer for people after you and you might feel a little better too.

4. And The Most Important One…Be kind to yourself!

Start your compassion journey with yourself. Treat yourself to a nice dinner or relax in the bath after a long day. Take note of when you are feeling stressed and maybe practice some breathing exercises or meditate for a moment. You can only be compassionate of others when you are compassionate to yourself first. In a world that is constantly moving, it is okay to slow down and take a breath.

Why Does This Matter?

Compassionate empathy is a key element we have as humans to connect with one another. It is particularly important and can be used as a way to unify us during times of uncertainty.

 Counseling Services in Chicago, IL

Time of uncertainty can cause anxiety, burnout and sadness. These things can have a huge impact on a person’s mental health and you may need more support in the form of a professional counselor or therapist. If you are feeling overwhelmed or need help working through some of life's challenges, please reach out for counseling services. If you live in the state of Illinois, our Winnetka & Chicago based therapists would love to help. Our therapists believe in providing evidence based therapy with compassionate empathy and a nonjudgemental approach to sessions.

If you are ready to begin therapy, please take the steps below to get started:

1. Fill out a consult form here.

2. Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3. Begin working toward better mental health!

Other Mental Health Services in Illinois

Our therapists offer a wide range of mental health services to support your entire family focusing on providing evidence based care including incorporating mindfulness as well as other effective therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and EMDR. addition to anxiety treatment and teen therapy, we also offer counseling for depression, teen counseling, parent counseling, trauma therapy, therapy for work burnout & more. Because we offer online therapy, we are able to help anyone in the state of Illinois. And, our therapists specialize in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals.

So, whatever your mental health needs may be, if you live in Illinois we'd love to provide you the support you're looking for. 

When Should a Teenager See a Therapist? And Should I Force My Teenager to Go to Therapy?

“Is my teenager experiencing typical stress levels or is it something more?” 

“Teenagers are supposed to be moody and irritable, right?”

“Is my teen just overly dramatic?”

The answers to each of these questions are complicated since it can be very difficult to know whether your teenager is coping with their experiences in a healthy way or not. It is common for teenagers to face problems that negatively impact how they feel and act. Therapy can help improve your teenager’s self-concept, overall mood and confidence as they transition from adolescence into adulthood.

When Should a Teenager See a Therapist?

It can be very difficult to face the fact that your teenager needs help. Therapy can be beneficial for teenagers in a variety of ways. They will work with their therapist to learn to regulate their emotions, communicate effectively and become more self-aware. There are many issues that your teen’s therapist can help them to process:

Issues a Teen Therapist Can Help With

o   Behavior problems

o   Emotional struggles

o   Mental health issues

o   Substance abuse problems

o   Heightened stress

o   Relationship difficulties

o   Traumatic experiences

If you are concerned about your teenager’s well-being, it is important to get them help as soon as possible. The longer you wait, the worse their issues could become. There are several warning signs that may indicate your teenager should seek out mental health treatment:

Warning Signs Your Teen May Have a Mental Health Problem

o   Depressive symptoms such as constantly feeling sad, hopeless, fearful or anxious

o   Abusing alcohol/drugs

o   Anxiety or panic

o   Decrease in school performance

o   Sexual acting out

o   Self-harm

o   Changes in friends or activities

o   Changes in sleeping/eating patterns

o   Inappropriate anger

o   Increasing defiance

o   Withdrawing from family/friends

If you don’t notice these specific warning signs, but feel your teen needs counseling, do not be afraid to bring it up with them. Remember, you know your child best and may be the first person to observe shifts in their behaviors.

How to Bring Up Therapy with Your Teen

 As a parent, it can be uncomfortable for both you and your teen to talk about seeking mental health treatment.  Teenagers tend to be hesitant to go to therapy because they are worried what their peers will think or they may feel it is their parent’s way of punishing them. Reassure them that therapy is confidential and they can share as much or as little about their problems as they want.  It is extremely important to frame therapy as a positive experience since parents can easily influence their children’s views.

Instead of telling your teen “You need therapy because you have thoughts about harming yourself”, say “Therapy is a safe space for you to express the harmful thoughts you have been experiencing. A therapist can help you create positive coping methods.”

Questions to Ask Your Teenager Related to Counseling and Mental Health

The following questions may also help to bring up the topic of mental health treatment with your teen:

“Are you feeling overwhelmed?” 

“How can I best support you right now?”

“I don’t always know how to help you with problems, so I wonder if it would be helpful for you to talk to someone who works with teens?”

Sharing your own experiences with mental health and therapy can help to normalize their involvement and relieve any shame or embarrassment they may be holding toward their struggles.

Should I Force My Teen to Go to Therapy?

 It is important that anyone who seek out mental health help is motivated to make progress and positive change in their life. Forcing your teen to go to therapy will not be productive for their treatment and may cause more harm than good. Teenagers need a sense of agency and to feel that they have a choice when it comes to their mental health treatment. You should always be sure to respect your child’s decision and continue to check in with them. There are some exceptions to allowing your teenager to decide if they will participate in treatment. If they are self-harming or suicidal, therapy is a necessary part of treatment, and if they are at risk of hurting themselves or others, call 911 or bring them to the emergency room.

My Teenager Refused Counseling, What Now?

Should your teen choose not to pursue therapy, there are still options that you can take advantage of that may help them:

• Seek your own counseling

  • Parent training can teach you effective ways to help your teen

• Speak to your teen’s school guidance counselor

  • Find out what services are available through your child’s school

• Ask your teenager to consider going to a single counseling session before they make a decision

  • Give them a chance to experience what therapy has to offer before deciding if they want to continue treatment

• Make sure they know that therapy is always an option

  • Be sure to keep the conversation surrounding therapy open and readily available should they change their mind

TEEN THERAPY IN CHICAGO, IL

If you're looking for a teen therapist in Chicago, contact us today. Our teen therapists would be happy to answer any questions you have about the therapy process and help your teen (and your family) start the counseling process.

Our teen therapists believe in providing evidence-based therapy. This means that we truly want you to get the most out of counseling sessions. Therefore, our approach to therapy for teens is based on treatment methods that we know from research really do help people improve their mental health.

If you have an anxious teen ready to begin therapy, please take the steps below to get started.

1. Fill out a consult form here.

2. Meet with a teen therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3. Watch your teenager grow and become the person they’re meant to be.

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES IN ILLINOIS

We know families are complex. And sometimes, multiple members of your family need some support. The therapists at our Chicago-based counseling practice offer a wide range of mental health services to support your entire family. In addition to anxiety treatment and teen therapy, we also offer counseling for depression, parent counseling, trauma therapy, therapy for work burnout & more.

Because our thearpists offer telehealth, we are able to help anyone in the state of Illinois. And, we have a variety of therapists who can work with teenagers. Additionally, our therapists specialize in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals as well as those who identify as a highly sensitive person. 

Communities Torn Apart and Attempting to Mend: Understanding and Processing Collective Trauma

We have spoken here before about how trauma effects the individual. What we haven’t spoken about is what happens when trauma effects an entire community.  

This is collective trauma.

Collective trauma can be caused by war, natural disasters, mass shootings, genocides, pandemics, and more. It is an event that wounds not only you but your family, your friends, your neighbors, and even the community officials elected or hired to serve and provide for all of you.

The added difficulty of collective trauma is that your extended support system also needs support. How do you nurture others when you have temporarily lost the capacity to nurture yourself? The results of collective trauma can last generations.

What is Trauma, Again? 

Trauma is an emotional response to an intense event that either causes harm or threatens to cause harm. It is often a result of an overwhelming amount of stress that outstrips one’s ability to process and cope with the emotions involved with that traumatic experience. Trauma can happen without PTSD ever developing.

How Do I Know if I Have Been Traumatized?

Please see the link at the start of this post for warning signs of PTSD in adults. Partners in Healing, a project aimed at bringing therapy into schools, also has a list of possible warning signs of trauma for various age groups with a focus on children.

What is Collective Trauma, Specifically?

Kaiser Permanente defines collective trauma as “a shared emotional reaction to a terrible event. People often feel powerless as a result of these experiences.” They also add that with a country the size of the US it is unusual for the entire county to experience trauma at the same time, and yet we have had several such events in the past two years including the Covid-19 pandemic, rising costs of living with stagnant wages, and a sharp increase in mass shootings in 2022.

What are the Long-Term Effects of Collective Trauma?

Intergenerational Trauma

Individual and collective trauma can be felt through generations. When your ancestors, whether recent or distant, experienced a trauma and were not able to (or did not have the opportunity to) fully process and heal from that trauma the possibility of inheriting that trauma occurs. We can see this in intergenerational parenting styles, abuse or substance abuse.

When the trauma and/or its effects are passed down from one generation to the next this is called intergenerational trauma. Intergenerational trauma can be devasting because it very often affects a person who has no direct knowledge of the source. Some large-scale historical examples include the:

• Trail of Tears,

• Japanese Interment during WWII,

• Holocaust,

• Great Depression,

• Assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., and

• 9/11.

We humans are stronger in groups and communities and have an amazing ability to recover from collective trauma; however, sometimes the trauma is too massive or too long-term and the community’s ability to heal is overwhelmed, such as the on-going trauma of unarmed black Americans killed by police. When this happens the impact of the trauma, the aftershocks so to speak, can be felt for generations. This can happen in various ways including:

• Epigenetic inheritance of trauma

• Parenting styles that were altered by the adults struggling to process and/or compensate for harm

• Lasting economic impacts of the trauma

• Cultural prohibition and cultural change

Psychological Distress

Many times, those that experience a community-impacting traumatic event show signs of PTSD. This also includes a decrease in their well-bring, feeling unsafe, and high levels of stress. This can continue for years after an event if left untreated. Frequently, these survivors report permanent changes in their behavior such as avoiding certain places or being on high alert in specific contexts.

Xenophobia 

The fear that results from these community-wide events can leave us feeling unsafe around people outside of our immediate group or community. This is especially true for systemic inequities such as police brutality, gender and sexuality-based violence, religious violence, and all manner of other hate crimes.

As a result, survivors may come to fear any person/group they associate with the traumatic event such as the violence and abuse targeted at Asian-Americans during the Covid-19 pandemic or Muslim and Middle Eastern-Americans after 9/11.

Existential Crisis

It is not always easy to make sense of bad things or know how to move on. This can trigger an existential crisis. These feelings can uproot an entire community and leave everyone feeling untethered, doubting their believes, and unsure about their place in the world or even the meaning of their own lives.

How Can a Community Collectively Heal Trauma?

Research points to some specific actions that communities can take to heal together.

One of the most important appears to be meaning making. In the case of collective trauma this is creating a positive shared meaning around the event, as odd as it sounds to create something “positive” out of a tragedy.  

Thankfully, communities seem to know how to do this. This can be seen in spontaneous memorials that include flowers, pictures, messages, or organized ceremonies including vigils and prayer circles or other spiritual activities to honor those lost.

Community talking sessions and volunteer healers including mental health and animal-assisted therapy arise. Communities can also establish programs to help others who have experienced similar things.

When people go through these types of experiences, they need to come together to acknowledge what happened and to talk about their emotions.

How Can I Heal?

Healing from any kind of trauma is not easy. In the case of collective trauma here are our recommendations for supporting and healing yourself:

1. Stop doomscrolling

2. Limit was you see in news/social media (really, stop doomscrolling)

3. Find solidarity within your community – solidarity promotes healing

4. Find a trauma-informed therapist

5. Raise your awareness of how you feel

6. Take care of your body

7. Nurture your resilience

Other Resources

Collective trauma is a devasting and complex condition. To fully cover it is well beyond the scope of our little blog here. So please use this list of resources if you would like to learn more collective trauma:

How Collective Trauma Impacts Teen Mental Health

Wisconsin Department of Health Services – Understanding Collective Trauma Handout

Coping With Cascading Collective Trauma in the United States

Consider Trauma Therapy in Chicago, IL

Even collective trauma can feel like an isolating experience but our trauma and EMDR specialist, Kari Holman and our other trauma-informed online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL offer therapy directed at supporting you through every step of processing and recovering from trauma via online therapy. We want to help you reconnect with yourself and begin the process of being the whole, happy, genuine you from the comfort of your own home.

 Take the steps below to get started:

1. Fill out a consult form here.

2. Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3. Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

Other Services at Obsidian Counseling and Wellness

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks, including teenagers, along their healing process. Specifically, we help people in addressing anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.

How To Celebrate Pride Month Every Month

This past month, we have been celebrating pride. Pride is celebrated in June to commemorate the Stonewall uprising that occurred on June 28th, 1969, in New York City and was the catalyst for the Gay Liberation Movement. Even though Pride has been celebrated in June for over 50 years, President Bill Clinton officially declared June as Gay and Lesbian Pride month in 2000.

This was then expanded to include the whole LGBTQ+ community in 2011 by President Barack Obama. As June’s celebration comes to an end, it is important to remember that the fight for LGTBQ+ rights and equality is far from over and there is a vast history of how we got where we are now. Even if you do not identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, you can still help fight for equal rights every month of the year and acceptance for everyone as an ally.

An ally is someone who may not identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community but still supports and fights for others who are part of the community.

Being an ally is an important job. Ally voices are incredibly powerful and can help spur monumental change in society. Anyone in your life may identify in the LGBTQ+ community, even if you do not know it. Regardless if you know someone personally, it is important to fight for equal rights and opportunities for all. Below is a brief list on how you can begin or continue your ally journey. 

1. Educate yourself

Read, watch videos, talk to people in the community about pride and what it means to them. Talk to people about their experiences or any discrimination they might have faced. Make an effort to learn about the LGBTQ+ community. Learn about different pronouns, differences in sexualities or gender expressions. Research which large companies support anti- LGBTQ organizations and which ones do not. It is important to note that some people may not feel comfortable talking about their identity, so don’t push them. Listed below are some great resources to read up on to start learning more about LGBTQ and pride: Human right campaign, GLAAD, The Trevor Project.

2. Speak out against discrimination

People in the LGBTQ community face discrimination daily. LGBTQ youth are especially affected by this and 84% of LGBTQ youth have reported harassment based on their gender or sexual identity. If you see someone being mistreated because of the way they identify, stand up for them. Let them know that they are supported. Advocate for LGBTQ+ folks. And, if this occurs in a school setting, offer to talk to the principal or superintendent about what you saw.

3. Support LGBTQ+ owned businesses

If you decide to celebrate pride by going out with friends or attending a parade, try and shop at businesses owned by LGBTQ+ individuals. Obviously, it is convenient to go to Walmart or target to quickly buy rainbow themed items, but sometimes these large companies do not always support the community in ways you think.

4. Listen or read LGBTQ+ voices

There are tons of podcasts, books, blogs etc. written or recorded by people in the LGBTQ+ communities. Some talk about current events or pushback being received right now. Others talk about the history and struggles faced years ago. There is a topic out there that will spark your interest. And when it does, it’s important to hear directly from the people impacted. By doing this, not only are you supporting the LGBTQ+ community, but there is also valuable information and stories to learn about.

5. Don’t assume someone’s sexuality or gender identify

Our society is always evolving. Many people are also just starting to discover their true self. It is important to remember that someone may not feel comfortable coming out just yet or maybe they are still figuring out how they identify. Assuming pieces of someone identify put them in a box and labels them in a certain way that they might not feel comfortable with. Remember to keep an open mind as an ally and be respectful of someone’s journey.

This is by no means a comprehensive list of ways to be an ally but hopefully gives you an idea of how to start being an ally. There are many more way to fight for and support the LGBTQ+ community. Whether you are just starting to learn about ways to be an ally or have been part of the fight for equality for years, your voice matters and can make an impact.

BEGIN LGTBQIA+ THERAPY IN CHICAGO, IL TODAY

At our Chicago, IL area therapy practice, we are honored to provide space and a supportive environment for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, and queer or questioning individuals. We provide LGBTQIA+ therapy services for youth, adolescents, young adults and college students, and adults. Get started with these steps:

1. Fill out a consult form here.

2. Meet with an LGBTQIA+ affirming therapist.

3. Start authentically connecting with yourself and living life to the fullest!

OTHER SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with an LGBTQIA+ therapist at Obsidian, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. Our team feels honored to help guide folks along their healing process. Specifically, we help people in addressing anxiety, depression, trauma, and work stress. Additionally, we value the unique experiences of highly sensitive people and young adults and are happy to help them find balance in their lives. We hope that you take the leap to begin your healing journey with our team of specialized therapists whether online or in-person at our Chicago, IL-based counseling practice.

Artist Burnout & 7 Ways to Handle it

“It’s going to happen sometimes: Despite all the good habits you’ve developed, the preparation rituals, the organizational tools, the techniques…. There will come a time when your creativity fails you. You stare at the canvas, the screen, the keyboard, the empty room- and it refuses to meet your eyes. It looks away as if it’s ashamed of you. You may as well be painting on shards of broken glass. Your screen shows nothing but wavy lines. Your fingers slip off the keyboard, never getting traction. The room turns dark and cold, and someone is locking the door behind you” -Twyla Tharp in The Creative Habit (2003).

Has your creativity failed you as an artist right now?

A feeling of being stuck, a blank mind, and fear that maybe the art will not come this time. You may describe this as Tharp does, "I'm in a rut." However, you also may be experiencing burnout. Don't worry; this does not mean that your career is over; it just means you may need to take some time to care for yourself. Imagine burnout as an injury; when we are injured, we need to take time to heal, and sometimes we add some physical therapy exercises into our routine to strengthen what's been hurt. So, as a therapist who regularly works with artists, I've got some tips to help with that.

Individuals in any career may experience periods of burnout, and artists are highly susceptible. For many, "Artist" is more than a job title; it is an identity. This connection to one's sense of self blurs the boundaries between self and work, making it difficult for artists to detach the success of one's art from the success of themselves. The making of flawed art is inevitable for an artist; however, if art and self are enmeshed, then flawed art may lead to the beliefs such as "I am a flawed person," or the lack of making art may lead to the belief that "I am no one" (Bayles and Orland, 1993). These thought processes may lead to negative self-talk, low self-esteem, and burnout.

What is Artist Burnout?

Burnout is described as an occupational phenomenon. Artists experiencing burnout may feel:

• Exhaustion or energy depletion that won’t go away

• Increased feelings of negativism, cynicism, or mental distance related to one’s job

• Reduced professional efficacy

• Increased procrastination and avoidance of doing your work

• Jealousy of others who seem to be in a "groove"

• Sense of helplessness

Burnout is different than stress. Stress is short-term, and when we experience stress, we can identify an end to the situation and feeling. Burnout is a long-term process and is built up over time. Stress often springs individuals into action and an anxiety response, while burnout often results from extended periods of prolonged stress leading to disengagement and blunted or distant emotions.

The 7 Ways To Combat Artist Burnout

1.     Tap into Community

Sometimes creating art can feel isolating, and the process can be deeply personal. Tapping into community can help break up feelings of being stuck and quiet the cycles of negative thinking. Sharing your art with another person can help bring it out of your mind and into the world. For example, you can share your work with a peer artist, a friend, an artist in another medium, or even someone new.

Hearing another’s thoughts and reactions to your art may open some pathways for you in the creative process that you could not see before. Additionally, having a person interact with you and your art can quiet some of the "what ifs" that may arise during the creation process. You are not alone.

Additionally, through watching, reading, and viewing the work of others, you may find inspiration that will move you through your feeling of being stuck. For example, if you're a dancer, this may look like going to a dance festival, watching a performance, or taking a class, but it can also look like going to an art gallery, watching a movie, or reading a book. Art informs art, so do not be afraid to seek inspiration beyond your medium; this may open a whole new world of options.

2.     Connect to Your Body

Creative processes can sometimes feel like an out-of-body experience. Artists may enter "the zone" or a feeling of intense focus, and in these moments, they may become disconnected or unaware of their physical bodies. Therefore, it is important to check in with your body and breath to take care of yourself. Check-in with your physical sensations: "Are my shoulders tense?" "Have I been sitting for too long?" "Do I need to get up and walk around?" "Do I need to sit down and stretch?" "Have I been holding my breath?" "When's the last time I had food or water?". You are more than a tool for the creation of art. By building a connection with your body, you also increase your ability to identify and respond to emotions. This sense of awareness can help you notice and tend to burnout sooner.

3.     Reassess Boundaries

Boundaries can often become blurred as an artist. From boundaries as work to the boundaries that one sets for oneself. When feelings of burnout occur, reflect on what has been causing this feeling of prolonged stress. Perhaps recently, it's been hard to say no to projects, maybe the hours you’ve been working are longer, or the deadlines are too soon. Setting boundaries for how long and how often you work can help to prevent burnout. While balancing many different projects at once can be exciting, it may not be sustainable in the long term.

Additional boundaries to consider are personal boundaries. Art can be a vulnerable and personal process; when creating personal work, consider your boundaries when it comes to how much you would like to share with others. Creating personal work can be very powerful and meaningful; however, it is also okay to have boundaries for how much the public gets to know about you and your story. Creating boundaries for work and self can help one differentiate between the two and prevent conditions that often cause burnout.

4.     Redefine Success

As previously mentioned, creating flawed art is inevitable as an artist, and not all your work will be loved by everyone. Additionally, even the "completed product" often never feels finished to an artist, so having success be a clear and concise ending to a process may be frustrating or unattainable because we are often left with the feeling of wanting to do more. Redefining success can help you re-frame your work and your path as an artist. Here are some helpful re-frames:

• Focus on the process

  • What are my goals throughout this process?

  • Who would I like to work with?

  • What tools and techniques would I like to use?

  • Who do I want to share this with?

• Redefine success by things you can control instead of things that you cannot

• Detaching success of art from a sense of self

5.     Practice Self-Compassion

Self- Compassion is a term coined by Dr. Kristin Neff. Approaching oneself with self-compassion requires an individual to treat oneself the way they would a friend who is having a difficult time. You may feel warmth, caring, and a desire to help and support your friend. Treating ourselves with compassion is not a societal norm; we are often met with sayings such as "rub some dirt in it," "stiff upper lip," "power through," and "blood sweat and tears." However, self-compassion involves noticing how you feel, "I am having a hard time connecting to my art right now," and then asking, "how can I comfort and care for myself at this moment?". Self-compassion allows space to acknowledge one's emotions and experiences from a space of common humanity and kindness rather than isolation and judgment.

6.     Engage in Another Creative Medium

Artists benefit from engaging in work that they are often very passionate about. However, passion does not take away from the fact that it still is work. Sometimes, individuals have difficulty caring for themselves when their coping skill and former way of relieving stress is now the medium that provides them with an income. Artists need to engage in other creative mediums as a means of self-care. We do not have to master our hobbies, and there is a great deal of freedom and comfort that comes from this process. So, when you're starting to feel stuck or burnt out in your medium, try venturing into other pathways of creativity for the enjoyment of creating rather than meeting a deadline or creating "something great." Having hobbies and interests outside of your job is important and will help prevent burnout.

7.     Take a break

Sometimes, it may be time to take a break when burnout takes hold. Taking a break does not mean that you need to quit or stop being an artist. Taking a break can provide time to heal and enter back into art with a refreshed mindset. Only you can give yourself permission to take time off to take care of yourself, re-energize, and return with a fresh perspective. Taking a break can feel really scary, but art is not going away, and the community will be there when you are ready to go back. During this time, you may be able to reflect on what factors lead to feelings of burnout and what you would like to incorporate into your life moving forward to support your mental well-being as an artist.

Remember…

You are not alone, broken, or "washed up" when experiencing burnout as an artist. You just need time to refresh, re-frame, and recreate your process to include you and the taking care of you.

CONSIDER THERAPY FOR ARTIST BURNOUT IN CHICAGO, IL

Being an artist is wonderful work but can lead to feelings of burnout and stress. That’s why the online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL, offer therapy directed at increasing your confidence and helping you walk away from that burnout via online therapy. We have several therapists including Bailey Seymour, LPC and Ilyssa Lasky, LCPC that specialize in working with dancers, painters, musicians and artists of all types. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home. Take the steps below to get started.

1.     Fill out a consult form here.

2.     Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3.     Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

OTHER MENTAL HEALTH SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks along their healing process. Specifically, we help people, including frequently working with musicians, address anxiety, trauma, and work-stress. Additionally, we offer yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.

Unlock the Gate! Gatekeeping of Transaffirming Care and Procedures

What is Gatekeeping Related to Trans Healthcare?

Gatekeeping is defined as “the activity of controlling, and usually limiting, general access to something” (Oxford Languages). In the trans community it specifically refers to medical and healthcare professionals enacting policies that inhibit a person’s ability to access transaffirming care. This kind of gatekeeping is not new.

It is also a significant problem for trans individuals seeking any form of affirming care. Even if the professional’s intentions are good (such as wanting to protect a client/patient from a “mistake”) or self-focused (such as not wanting to be sued) these barriers are detrimental to trans health.

Australia’s TransHub defines gatekeeping as what happens when “health professionals place unnecessary and unfair hurdles in the path of affirmative care, and require trans and gender diverse patients to prove who we are and that we really want or need access to medically affirming care.”

Gatekeeping Trans Affirming Care can Take Many Forms

Here are some examples of common gatekeeping actions the trans community faces when accessing healthcare services:

• Refusing to take on trans or gender diverse clients

• Requiring unnecessary steps in order to access gender-affirming care. i.e. requiring a psychiatrist or endocrinologist assessment     

• Delaying gender affirming care without a clear health-based reason

  • Such as “watchful waiting,” a term used in conversation practices

• Engaging in any sort of conversion or aversion therapy

• Not providing all information or answers as to why a particular decision was made

• Requiring trans and other gender diverse clients to adopt a strict binary (male/female) identity

• Requiring invasive examinations or testing in order to access care

• Over-inflation of regret rates

Gatekeeping is Detrimental and Dangerous for Trans Individuals

There is a growing body of research pointing to these practices as dehumanizing and dangerous. These practices place a burden of proof upon trans individuals. It demands they justify and explain their lived experience to an outsider until that person is satisfied they are “trans enough.”

When placed beside other mental health struggles “enough” sounds as ridiculous as it is. No one is asked to prove they are “depressed” enough or “anxious enough” or “abused enough” to receive care.

The suicide rate among transgender individuals is the highest among all gender expressions and is most commonly due to lack of support from others (especially family) and lack of body/gender congruence (the ongoing burden of living in a body that does not match one’s internal sense of self).

Given this, gender affirming care is not only medically necessary, it is lifesaving. From a professional standpoint gatekeeping is also unethical.

Two articles published in The American Journal of Bioethics argue that facial feminization surgery is not cosmetic but is medically necessary and should thus be covered by health insurance, and to do otherwise is unethical. If you would like to read them both you can access them for free here and here.

This article in the American Psychological Association’s (ACA) publication Psychotherapy provides insight into the current standards of care (SOC) laid out by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH), for better or worse. But it also posits that psychotherapy that assists the client in their transition – rather than gatekeeping or calling the shots – led to better outcomes.

Additionally, this article from Psychology of Sexual Orientation and Gender Diversity highlights the struggles of attempting to work with an uninformed therapist including the burden of education, gender avoidance, and gender repairing in addition to gatekeeping.

Resources Related to Personal Experiences of Gatekeeping

While we at Obsidian Counseling and Wellness are trans positive and happily support our trans clients whether their purpose in coming to us involves their transition journey or not, we cannot and should not speak for them. Here are a few resources that speak from personal experience with the medical gatekeeping of transgender care.

In 2016 the Journal of Adolescent Health published a first of its kind research article on the effects of gatekeeping on trans youth and their caregivers. It found that few trans youth “eligible for gender-affirming treatments actually receive them.”

Florence Ashley, a member of the law faculty at McGill University in Canada, provides a candid and insightful report on her experiences as a transwoman in Canada’s medical system.

Martin Hayes wrote for The Queen’s University Journal about the harm of baseless terms such as “transtrenders” and the “transmedicalists” who believe this notion.

Earlier this year American Scientist published an article highlighting the dangers of the current system and encouraging an informed consent model of care.

The Impact of Gatekeeping As Told By Trans Individuals

We spoke with two trans individuals about their experience with gatekeeping. Below is what they shared about their experiences:

Local Activist

We spoke with a local activist who asked to be anonymous about his experiences with gatekeeping during his on-going transition. He spoke about the difficulty of finding an affirming care team. He initially had to drive 1.5 hours one way on a weekly basis just to receive his hormone replacement therapy (HRT) which necessitated taking time off work on top of the cost of gas.     

He also related to us the challenges in finding a surgeon to perform his mastectomy and spoke about doctors who refused to answer his questions until he booked an appointment only to then tell him “a flat out no.” This was after hours upon hours of calling offices and trying to use information from his insurance carrier that was years out of date.

Asha Ember

We also spoke with Asha Ember, an acquaintance of our therapist Kari Holman, to better understand her experience, as well. Here is some of what she shared with us:

“It's important to note my lived experience is my own…few people understand the magnetic pull of dysphoria, particularly at the beginning of transition. One day, you're not happy and there's nothing you can do about it, and you're used to that. It's like, "This life sucks, but it's my life," and you go numb. You don't even notice it happening with age. Pre-transition dysphoria is a lot like having a hand that's fallen so far asleep that you can stare at it and prod it, and for a moment part of your brain doesn't really accept it as a part of you.

“The dysphoria you feel when you come out is so much worse. It's like the moment you allow yourself to believe that you can change those things you once considered immutable about yourself, every single thing that prevents you from presenting becomes nightmarishly exaggerated or assumes an urgency that boarders on obsession (if not becomes an obsession). Like, one day I'm a dude who dresses in women's clothing and acts flamboyantly, and the next, I'm a really, really, really shitty woman. And it's awful.”

Informed Consent-Based Care as an Alternative

Informed consent-based care is an alternative model to gatekeeping that is growing in prominence. In this model care is inclusive, self-determined, and rights-based. If you want to read a solid article on the differences between and challenges to informed consent-based treatment and gatekeeping of trans clients please go here.

Now, it should be stated that informed-consent based care, like any model, is not perfect. It does not currently have guidelines on what to do if a healthcare professional has questions about this transperson’s ability to consent to treatment, such as unmanaged or poorly managed psychosis, schizophrenia spectrum disorder, or a memory disorder like Alzheimer’s or HIV dementia. This article from the International Journal of Medicine and this one from Psychiatric Services are two that take a look at this quandary.

However, this article from the South African Journal of Bioethics and Law argues the informed-consent model upholds the ethics of “do no harm” that is central to the mental health field better than the gatekeeping model. These ethics include respect for autonomy, non-maleficence, beneficence, and justice.

Advocate, Advocate, Advocate

If the three Ls of real estate are “location, location, location” then the three As here are advocate! Advocate! Advocate! Even when it is exhausting and frustrating it is the key to overcoming gatekeeping. It’s also helpful to have a trained professional in your corner to support you.

Consider Trans-affirming Therapy in Chicago, IL

The belief in the basic right and dignity of trans-affirming care is the reason our transgender specialist, Kari Holman and our other online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL offer therapy directed at supporting you through every step of your gender exploration and transition journey via online therapy. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home.

Take the steps below to get started:

1. Fill out a consult form here.

2. Meet with a trans affirming therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3. Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

THERAPY SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks, including teenagers, along their healing process. Specifically, we help people in addressing anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it. 

Trauma, PTSD and CPTSD: What Are The Differences? Are We All Traumatized?

Until recently, trauma was poorly understood by modern Western science. In the 20th century “shell shock” was used to describe soldiers returning from war who exhibited symptoms including fatigue, confusion, tremors, and exaggerated startle responses. It was frequently diagnosed when a current or former soldier could not function but there was no obvious cause as to why.

Then, in the 1970s, Dr. Bessel van der Kolk began his industry-changing work learning what shell shock is and what we understand it as today – trauma. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) was added to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) in 1980. In 1988 Dr. Judith Herman of Harvard University added CPTSD – Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder to the literature.

This filled an important gap in psychological theory and practice. Dr. van der Kolk’s research also proved that trauma is not something that only happens to soldiers. Trauma can, and does, effect ANYONE. Yup, you read that correctly! In fact, 1 in 11 people in the United States will received  PTSD diagnosis during their life time. That is about 30 million people. More than the entire state of Texas.

What Is Trauma?

The truth is everyone experiences trauma. But not everyone develops PTSD symptoms. This may be the biggest myth about trauma: if you do not have PTSD than you do not have trauma. Wrong!

Very broadly trauma is what happens when there is more data coming in than your brain can process at a time. Imagine the download bar on your computer as its estimate wildly swings from “5 minutes” to “2 minutes” to “3 hours,” and so on. The difference between your computer and your brain is that your computer will eventually download everything. Anything that does not get downloaded in your brain in real time stays un-downloaded.

But another way – image a water funnel. If too much water is poured at once the funnel fills up and spills over. That spilled water does not make it into the container. That is your trauma. Trauma is spilled water. It is unprocessed memories that you brain was unable to appropriately file in the proper drawer.

As a result, every time we access one of these unprocessed memories it can feel almost or just as raw and real as the moment the event happened. The traumatic event does not even have to be “big” or “major” to influence us. We call that Little T trauma.

Big T and Little T Trauma 

Traumatic events can be broken down into two categories. Big T and Little T trauma. This apparent size has nothing to do with the intensity or effect of the trauma. Maybe a better term would be “headline” and “subhead” trauma.

The Big T/Headline traumas are the ones we all think of; a bad car accident, sexual violence, natural disasters, war, terrorist events, serious injury or illness, the death of someone close to you, etc. Not everyone will experience these. These are the traumas that are most likely to result in PTSD and CPTSD.

The Little T/Subhead traumas are the ones society does not tend to think about. We may go so far as to say everyone has had at least once of these. These do not typically result in PTSD/CPTSD but they can still influence our future thinking and behavior.

This could be a scary encounter with a dog as a small child, getting separated from your family in a public place, a scary movie, a minor car accident. The list is endless. What makes any of these a traumatic moment comes down to your brain’s ability at that specific time and place to process/not process all that data or get all the water down the funnel without spilling over.

PTSD/CPTSD – When the Trauma is Too Big

Big T traumas are the ones that typically result in PTSD and CPTSD, but not always. PTSD/CPTSD are the names for a group of symptoms that result from the brain having an extra hard time working through unprocessed trauma. Unprocessed is the key. Remember all that spilled water.

Symptoms of PTSD and CPTSD

While PTSD and CPTSD may on the surface appear to have similar symptoms, there are some differences. Let’s begin by taking a look at the symptoms for each.

Symptoms of PTSD

The American Psychiatric Association has a summary of PTSD symptoms. These include, broadly:

• intrusion symptoms

• avoidance symptoms

• arousal and reactivity symptoms

• cognition and mood symptoms

Additional Symptoms of CPTSD

In addition, CPTSD can include:

• difficulties managing emotions, like anger or intense sadness

• persistent feelings of emptiness or hopelessness

• relationship challenges, such as trust issues, avoiding others, or participating in unhealthy dynamics

What is the Difference Between PTSD and CPTSD?

The overarching differences between PTSD and CPTSD is how old you were when the trauma happened, what happened, and for how long. PTSD typically involves one event. CPTSD is what typically happens after repeated, long-term traumatic events.

The types of traumas that can result in CPTSD symptoms include:

• Abuse

• Neglect

• Abandonment

• Domestic violence or other ongoing abuse

• Torture

• Kidnapping

• Living through a war

• Prolonged refugee status

CPTSD can develop if any of the above happens during adulthood, however, it is more common to see CPTSD because of these things happening in childhood. Experiencing any of these during childhood greatly increases the chances of developing CPTSD. 

The reasons for that include, but are certainly not limited it, children’s incomplete brain development and on-going identity formation. There is more to it than that, but a more complete explanation would require a much longer and academic write up than we have space here for on the blog.

A useful tool for gauging the level of trauma in one’s childhood is the Adverse Childhood Experiences scale (ACE). It is a ten-question measure that can offer a window into one’s odds of developing both physical and mental health problems later in life, such as CPTSD. The higher the score the more likely these problems will develop, though this is of course not a perfect predictor.

What Can I Do About My Own PTSD or CPTSD?

Thankfully, having PTSD or CPTSD is not a life sentence. Those with these diagnoses can and do recover and living happy lives that are not controlled by their symptoms.

Consider Trauma Therapy in Chicago, IL

This belief in the ability of humans to heal from trauma is the reason our trauma specialist, Kari Holman and our other online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL offer therapy directed at increasing your confidence and helping you heal from your trauma in Illinois via online therapy. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home.

Take the steps below to get started:

1. Fill out a consult form here.

2. Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3. Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

OTHER SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks, including teenagers, along their healing process. Specifically, we help people in addressing anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.