Empathy and compassion are often confused for each other. Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the same feelings with another person. Compassion is thought of to be the emotional response to another person’s pain which then creates a desire to help. There is lots of overlap between the two but what is it that sets them apart?

3 Types of Empathy

The first main difference between compassion and empathy is that there are three kinds of empathy. Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman have identified these three kinds of empathy as cognitive, Emotional, and compassionate. Compassionate empathy is what we typically think of when we think about compassion.

Cognitive Empathy

Cognitive empathy consists of knowing how another person feels and being able to identify what they may be thinking. For example, if a friend has recently lost a family pet, cognitive empathy enables you to know they may be feeling sad or hurt. Cognitive empathy is often referred to as “perspective taking” since it allows you to put yourself in another person’s shoes.

Circle of hands with a red painted heart one can see when placing all of the hands together. This represents the compassion Obsidian Counseling therapists can provide through online counseling in all of Illinois.

Emotional Empathy

Emotional empathy differs from cognitive empathy because you physically feel the emotions another person may be experiencing. This is the type of empathy that makes us jump when you see your favorite sports player fall and injure themselves during a game. You may have experienced the physical pain or sensation of injuring yourself in a similar way which is why you may grimace when you see them fall. You do not need to have experienced the same exact injury or way you were injured, but everyone has experienced physical pain before, and emotional empathy allows us to identify similarities between situations to understand how the other person is feeling. Emotional empathy does not only apply to physical situations though. Many emotions are so strong that one can also feel them physically. Emotional empathy also applies to when you can feel and experience these emotions as well.

Cognitive and emotional empathy are able to come together to form compassionate empathy.

Compassionate Empathy

Compassionate empathy is what we typically think of when we hear the word “empathy”. It is also what is typically confused for simply compassion. While the names may be similar, there is a difference. Compassionate empathy is when you combine the qualities of cognitive and emotional empathy and then act towards trying to help. So, you have put yourself in the other persons shoes and have identified their pain, physically feeling, or experiencing their emotions, and now you are ready to reach out and offer help. This is where compassion plays a role in empathy. The act of reaching out or simply having the desire to help someone experiencing pain is compassion. Empathy is good on its own, but to really help and make a difference to others compassion needs to come in and play a role.

How To Practice Compassionate Empathy

Group of people holding Black Lives Matter posters in the background and two women hugging each other in the foreground. The picture represents empathy for many groups of individuals that Obsidian counseling and provide through online therapy in Il.

Practicing compassionate empathy is easy. Let’s say that your neighbor recently lost a loved one. You may have also been in a similar situation in the past, so you understand the grief and emotional distress it causes. Think about what could have helped you during this time. Maybe cook a meal and drop it off or offer to walk their dog so it is one less thing on their to do list.

Examples of practicing empathy and compassion in daily life

Practicing compassion today can seem like a daunting task. Differing political affiliations or general values can cause us to stay away or only socialize with people with similar views as us. Right now, our world feels like it is in a constant state of chaos and uncertainty. No matter whether you agree with someone’s values or not, everyone deserves kindness and compassion. Instead of isolating ourselves, reach out and check in with your neighbors. Keeping in touch with people and letting them know you care can make a significant impact. You never know what someone else is going through, but everyone can benefit from some compassion.

1. Reach out to a friend or family member you haven’t talked to in a while.

Ask them how they are doing or what is new in their life. Invite them to get a coffee or go on a walk. It may lead to a fun conversation where you both can catch up. With the amount of uncertainty in the world today, most people just want to talk and be heard. You can be the one to provide them with a space to do that.

2. Perform random acts of kindness

These can be done anywhere like the grocery store or gas station. If you see someone struggling with something, physically or emotionally, perform a random act of kindness to brighten their day. This could be as small as offering to carry their groceries or paying for their gas. You could also leave a note with a nice message in a random person’s mailbox. You may not see the effects it has on the person, but it could make a big difference to their day.

3. Help the environment

Humans aren’t the only ones who benefit from some compassion. Show the environment some love too. Pick up litter that may be outside or remember to recycle your water bottles. Cleaning up the environment not only helps the earth, but it makes the area nicer for people after you and you might feel a little better too.

4. And The Most Important One…Be kind to yourself!

Start your compassion journey with yourself. Treat yourself to a nice dinner or relax in the bath after a long day. Take note of when you are feeling stressed and maybe practice some breathing exercises or meditate for a moment. You can only be compassionate of others when you are compassionate to yourself first. In a world that is constantly moving, it is okay to slow down and take a breath.

Why Does This Matter?

Compassionate empathy is a key element we have as humans to connect with one another. It is particularly important and can be used as a way to unify us during times of uncertainty.

Counseling Services in Chicago, IL

Time of uncertainty can cause anxiety, burnout and sadness. These things can have a huge impact on a person’s mental health and you may need more support in the form of a professional counselor or therapist. If you are feeling overwhelmed or need help working through some of life's challenges, please reach out for counseling services. If you live in the state of Illinois, our Winnetka & Chicago based therapists would love to help. Our therapists believe in providing evidence based therapy with compassionate empathy and a nonjudgemental approach to sessions.

If you are ready to begin therapy, please take the steps below to get started:

Fill out a consult form here.
Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.
Begin working toward better mental health!

Other Mental Health Services in Illinois

Our therapists offer a wide range of mental health services to support your entire family focusing on providing evidence based care including incorporating mindfulness as well as other effective therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and EMDR. addition to anxiety treatment and teen therapy, we also offer counseling for depression, teen counseling, parent counseling, trauma therapy, therapy for work burnout & more. Because we offer online therapy, we are able to help anyone in the state of Illinois. And, our therapists specialize in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals.

So, whatever your mental health needs may be, if you live in Illinois we'd love to provide you the support you're looking for.

Empathy and Compassion: Aren’t They The Same & How To Practice Them When Uncertain