5 Self-Care Tips For Parents To Ease Stress & Burnout From A Parent Counselor

Transitioning into the role of parent can be exciting and overwhelming; young people require a great deal of care and attention. Suddenly, your main job is to take care of your kids. This leads parents to restructure their priorities, often moving self-care to the bottom of the list. On social media, self-care is often portrayed as self-indulgence and spoiling oneself. To a parent, this view of self-care may feel frivolous and selfish.

However, I’d like for us to take a moment to reframe self-care from a luxury to a necessity. It is not something that is added to your day as a reward but is woven into each day.

‘True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake; it is making a choice to build a life you don't need to regularly escape from' – Brianna Wiest

Adults need to be cared for just as much as their children. The only difference is that adults can make choices throughout their day to check in with and take care of themselves. If you ask a parent to go a day without taking care of their child, they will look at you shocked and rightfully so.

However, many parents go daily without tending to their needs physically, psychologically, emotionally, socially, professionally, and spiritually. These are necessities for feeling your best. I know that list may sound as if they are more things to add to that never-ending to-do list. However, in the long run, taking care of oneself prevents burnout, makes you feel like your best self and strengthens your relationship with your children.

Why is Self-Care Important for Parents from a parent counselor?

Self-care is connected to mental health; self-care can help to prevent burnout. Growing up, we are taught that we just must do some things: we have to brush our teeth each day, sleep, eat, and see the doctor. However, we often are not told to check in with how we feel or to have compassion for ourselves. By prioritizing self-care just as much as the other necessities, we can feel like our best selves, which will help us be the best parents we can be.

What is Caregiver Burnout?

Burnout, or caregiver burnout, is described as an occupational phenomenon, and if you’re reading this you know being a parent is a full-time job. Parents experiencing burnout may feel:

• Exhaustion or energy depletion that won’t go away

• Increased feelings of negativism, cynicism, or mental distance

• Reduced efficacy

• Increased procrastination and avoidance

• Jealousy of others, i.e., the myth of the "supermom."

• Sense of helplessness

As a parent, this may also look like a change in sleeping or eating habits. Feeling physically unwell with dizziness, an upset stomach, or headaches. Feeling anxious, guilty, unhappy, or lonely. And feeling irritated, withdrawn, sad, or angry for extended periods. Burnout is different than stress. Stress is short-term, and when we experience stress, we can identify an end to the situation and feeling. Burnout is a long-term process and is built up over time. Stress often springs individuals into action and anxiety response, while burnout often results from extended periods of prolonged stress leading to disengagement and blunted or distant emotions.

Teaching your Children Self-Care

The best way to teach your children about self-care is to model it yourself. Through watching you prioritize self-care, your children will also give those habits and behaviors value as they grow. For example, some of your self-care routines can parallel those that you set with your children. This may look like having a family dance party, making a healthy meal together, or taking a family nap after school. Working self-care into your children's lives and your own will make self-care a habit rather than something you can do "if time allows."

Build Your Toolbox: Find Self Care Strategies that Work For you

We've established that self-care does not always need to mean treating yourself, but what else can it be? Below, I've broken self-care down into some categories. For example, starting a habit of self-care may look as simple as choosing one thing from each category to implement daily. Each category includes a few examples of how one may implement that category of self-care. Your self-care will be unique to you, so allow yourself to implement self-care in ways that feel right.

Connect

• Call a loved one you haven’t seen in a while

• Set up a date night with your partner

• Talk to a neighbor

• See a friend

• Join a team, class, volunteer group, etc.

• Connect with coworkers

Move

• Take a walk

• Dance around your kitchen

• Go for a bike ride

• Play the music for a line dance like the YMCA or Macarena (a great one to do with your family)

• Yoga

• Exercise

Recharge

• Try and get enough sleep when possible

• Take breaks to ground yourself

  • Check into your breath

  • What can I see, feel, smell, hear, taste?

  • What does my body feel like?

  • Take a moment to breathe

• Take a break from screens

• Meditate

Maintain

• Set up your doctor’s appointments

• Brush your teeth

• If applicable: take your daily medications

• If applicable: do your physical therapy exercises

• Seek counseling

Play

• Play with your kid’s toys after they go up to bed

• Watch or play a sport

• Play a card or board game with a friend or partner

• Video game time

• Make art

CONSIDER PARENT THERAPY IN CHICAGO, IL

Self-care and mental health are connected; sometimes, parental stress or burnout may become big enough that it may be hard to overcome on your own. In this case, it may be helpful to seek counseling. That’s why the online therapists at our therapy practice based in Chicago, IL, offer therapy directed at increasing your confidence and helping you make friends in Illinois via online therapy. We want to help you connect with yourself and begin healing from the comfort of your own home. Take the steps below to get started.

1.     Fill out a consult form here.

2.     Meet with a therapist to see if online therapy is a good fit.

3.     Start connecting with yourself and experience the healing you deserve!

OTHER SERVICES AT OBSIDIAN COUNSELING AND WELLNESS

When you work with a therapist at our counseling practice in the Chicago, IL area, you will be met with compassion and authenticity. The team at our therapy practice feels honored to help guide folks along their healing process. Specifically, we help people address anxiety, trauma, and work stress. One of our more unique services is yoga therapy, which can also be done using online sessions. We also specialize in supporting LGBTQIA+ folks for a variety of issues. We hope that you take the leap to begin counseling with us. You deserve it.