Tackling the Sunday Scaries: Helping Parents and Kids Beat the Back-to-School Blues

Ah, the Sunday Scaries—the dreaded feeling that creeps up as the weekend winds down and the reality of Monday morning sets in. If you're a parent, you know this anxiety isn’t just yours; your kids might be feeling it too, especially with school in full swing. My little one has been struggling with the Sunday Scaries since preschool.

You know the feeling: your anxiety kicks in, making your stomach do flip-flops, your hands sweat, or worse, the endless thoughts about how bad the next day will be.

What Are the Sunday Scaries?

The 'Sunday Scaries' refer to intense feelings of anxiety and dread that typically arise every Sunday. They often start in the late afternoon and last into the evening, though for some, depending on their anxiety levels, these feelings can begin as soon as they wake up.

Physical sensations can include:

• Racing heart

• Stomach upset

• Trouble sleeping

• Sweating

• Difficulty breathing

• Headache

For adults, tackling these feelings can feel overwhelming. You might even think, "Maybe I should take a day—or a week—off work just to avoid this."

Similarly, for kids, this anxiety can lead to something called school refusal, where the thought of going to school becomes so overwhelming they just can’t face it. But don’t worry—there are ways to tackle the Sunday Scaries together and help everyone look forward to the week ahead.

What Is School Refusal?

School refusal isn’t just about not wanting to go to school. For some kids, anxiety about school becomes so intense that they refuse to go altogether. This can lead to missed days, falling behind in class, and even more anxiety. It’s crucial to address these feelings early to prevent bigger issues down the road.

3 Ways to Beat the Sunday Scaries for Parents and Kids

So, how can you help both yourself and your kids calm those Sunday jitters and maybe even start looking forward to the week? Here are three simple strategies:

1. Create a Sunday Evening Routine

   
   Wind Down Together: Establish a relaxing Sunday routine to ease into the week. Watch a family movie, play a board game, or read together. Shared time shifts the focus away from Monday’s worries. If the Sunday Scaries start earlier, plan a peaceful, predictable day. Make breakfast together, go for a walk, or enjoy nature.

2. Prepare for the Week Ahead

   
   Involve the Kids: Help reduce school anxiety by preparing for the week on Sunday evening. Organize backpacks, pick outfits, and review the schedule. Knowing what to expect eases fear, and it helps you feel more organized too! Try adding a fun touch, like sending transitional notes with them.

3. Leave Space for Feelings

   
   Highlight the Good & Acknowledge the Scary: Spend a few minutes discussing how your kids feel about the week ahead. Talking about something they’re looking forward to, like seeing friends or a favorite teacher, can help shift their mindset. Start a “What I’m Excited About” list. Also, give them room to share their fears. Sometimes, they just need to talk—without expecting a solution.

Helping You & Your Child with the Sunday Scaries

If you or your child are struggling with the Sunday Scaries, approach it with patience and understanding. Start by openly discussing what’s really bothering you. Share your thoughts with a partner or friend, and encourage your child to do the same. If needed, reach out to their teacher, school counselor, or a private counselor for extra support. Obsidian Counseling & Wellness is here to help you or your child manage the Sunday Scaries. Contact us today to start your counseling support.

Remember, the Sunday Scaries are common for both parents and kids, but they don’t have to ruin your weekend. By creating calming routines, preparing for the week ahead, and allowing space for feelings, you can ease the anxiety and maybe even start looking forward to what’s coming next. Here’s to making Mondays a little brighter!

Calm the Storm: How EMDR Can Help You Heal and Thrive

Healing from trauma or emotional pain can feel like an uphill battle, but it doesn’t have to be. Whether it’s a difficult experience, a recent trauma, or the stress of everyday life, finding a path to healing isn’t always easy. That is where EMDR comes in. Have you heard about it? Since I’m in the field, I’ve heard of it (and did EMDR!) myself, but I’ve noticed it started gaining more recognition with Prince Harry’s 2020 interview. Many celebrities have come out sharing their positive experiences with EMDR such as Lady Gaga, Justin Bieber, Demi Lovato, and Sandra Bullock. Its increased popularity in recent years is no surprise given its effectiveness for healing trauma, anxiety, and other aspects of mental health.

 All right, so what exactly is EMDR?

EMDR is a specialized therapy that helps people process and heal from trauma and other distressing life experiences. I used EMDR for quite the range of things from childhood trauma (I still struggle to remember my times tables, does anyone remember learning those?) all the way to I am totally stressed out trying to balance my kids, work, and having a life.

The beauty of EMDR which is different from traditional talk therapy, EMDR uses guided eye movements to help you process those difficult memories and reduce the emotional intensity associated with them.

Just so you know during an EMDR session, your therapist will guide your eye movements back and forth while you focus on a particular memory or thought. This process helps your brain reprocess the memory in a way that makes it less emotionally charged. Over time, what once felt overwhelming can become much more manageable, allowing you to move forward with a sense of peace and resolution.

What Do Those Letters Stand For?

E and M – Eye Movement. Your EMDR-trained therapist will use gentle physical or auditory stimulation to get your eyes to move back and forth (called bilateral stimulation or BLS). Yes, this can sound like hypnotism but please bear with us. This movement activates both sides of your brain and primes it for the next phase…

D – Desensitization. This phase is dealing with “all of the person's responses (including other memories, insights and associations that may arise) as the targeted event changes and its disturbing elements are resolved.” Kari, our EMDR therapist, describes this phase as mentally picking up all of the papers that have been dropped on the floor.

R – Reprocessing. This is where the eye movement gets really important. This is where the client briefly focuses on the trauma or disturbing memory while simultaneously engaging in BLS. This is associated with a reduction in the vividness and emotional intensity associated with the disturbance being addressed. Kari explains this as putting the papers in order, placing them in the correct filing cabinets, and then closing the drawers.

EMDR does not remove the memory but it takes the heat and the intensity out of it and moves it from a near re-lived experience to its appropriate place in the brain as a memory.

What Makes EMDR Unique?

What sets EMDR apart is its ability to work quickly and deeply. Many people find that they experience significant relief in a relatively short amount of time. It’s also a great option if you’re someone who struggles to talk about your feelings or past experiences. Because EMDR doesn’t rely solely on verbal expression, it can be a less daunting approach to therapy.

Real-Life Results

Let’s talk about what you can expect. Imagine feeling lighter, more in control, and less triggered by the things that used to weigh you down. EMDR can help you achieve that by rewiring the way your brain processes those difficult memories. It’s about more than just “getting over” something—it’s about truly healing from it.

The effects of an EMDR processing session can sit in the back of a person’s mind for multiple days. Clients report flashes of new insight up to several days after an EMDR session and sometimes even relevant dreams.

What Is EMDR Good For?

Originally designed as a trauma-processing technique, EMDR has also been found to be effective for

·      Anxiety

·      Panic attacks

·      Stress

·      Phobias

·      Complicated grief

·      Self-esteem and performance anxiety

Is it safe?

You bet it is! It is a carefully structured and researched-supported therapy. It is non-invasive meaning no medications or physical interventions. EMDR relies on the natural healing process of the brain, which are activated through specific techniques, such as guided eye movements.

Another beautiful aspect of EMDR is that the client is in control. The client is allowed and welcome to stop a processing session at any time. A good EMDR therapist will then check in with the client and help them regain enough stability to continue with the rest of their day.

Ready to Explore EMDR?

If you’re curious about how EMDR could work for you, consider reaching out to us. Click here to start your EMDR journey today!

Taking care of your mental health is one of the best investments you can make in yourself. Whether you're new to therapy or looking for a fresh approach, EMDR could be exactly what you've been searching for.

Overcoming the Winter Blues: Effective Anxiety and Depression Treatment

As the winter season sets in, many individuals find themselves grappling with the "winter blues," a term used to describe the onset of anxiety and depression during the colder months. The combination of reduced daylight, colder temperatures, and the challenges of the season can take a toll on mental health. In this blog post, we'll explore effective strategies and treatments for overcoming the winter blues, offering hope and support for those navigating anxiety and depression.

Understanding Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD):

Seasonal Affective Disorder, aptly acronymed as SAD, is a type of depression that occurs at specific times of the year, typically during the fall and winter months when sunlight exposure is limited. The lack of natural light can disrupt the body's internal clock and lead to symptoms such as low energy, changes in sleep patterns, and a persistent feeling of sadness.

Light Therapy:

Light therapy, also known as phototherapy, is a common and effective treatment for SAD. This involves exposure to a bright light that mimics natural sunlight. The light helps regulate melatonin and serotonin levels, alleviating symptoms of depression and improving mood. Consider incorporating daily light therapy sessions into your routine to combat the winter blues.

Regular Exercise:

Exercise has been proven to be a powerful antidote to depression and anxiety. Engaging in regular physical activity boosts endorphin levels, which are neurotransmitters associated with improved mood. Whether it's a brisk walk, a home workout, or a fitness class, finding an exercise routine that suits your preferences can make a significant difference in managing the winter blues.

Counseling and Therapy:

Seeking professional support through counseling or therapy can be instrumental in overcoming anxiety and depression. A trained therapist can help you explore and address the root causes of your winter blues, provide coping strategies, and offer a supportive space for self-reflection. Talking about your feelings and experiences can be a crucial step toward healing.

Mindfulness and Meditation:

Practicing mindfulness and meditation can be effective in managing symptoms of anxiety and depression. These techniques encourage staying present in the moment, reducing the impact of negative thoughts and worries. Incorporating mindfulness into your daily routine, even for just a few minutes, can contribute to a more positive mindset.

Balanced Nutrition:

Nutrition plays a vital role in mental health. Ensure your diet includes a variety of nutrient-rich foods, such as fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins. Omega-3 fatty acids, found in fish and flaxseeds, have been linked to improved mood and can be beneficial in combating the winter blues.

Social Connection:

Maintaining social connections, even in the midst of winter, is crucial for mental well-being. Whether through virtual meetups, phone calls, or in-person gatherings when possible, staying connected with friends and loved ones provides emotional support and combats feelings of isolation.

While the winter blues can be challenging, effective treatment options are available to help individuals overcome anxiety and depression. Whether through light therapy, exercise, counseling, mindfulness, nutrition, or social connection, a holistic approach can make a significant impact. If you or someone you know is struggling with the winter blues, know that support is available, and there are ways to bring warmth and light into the colder months. Remember, reaching out for professional help is a sign of strength, and together, we can overcome the winter blues and embrace the brighter days ahead.

Parenting When You're Feeling Anxious: 4 Tips for Success

Parenting When You’re Feeling Anxious

Effective Parenting Strategies while Experiencing Anxiety and Depression

Anxiety and depression are common mental health disorders that can have a major impact on your life. If you are a parent who is struggling with anxiety or depression, you may feel like you are not able to properly care for your children. You may be worried about what will happen to your children if you are not able to cope with your mental health disorder. It is important, however, to remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to help you cope with your anxiety or depression and to be the best parent you can be. We have developed 4 important and effective tips to help guide you during challenging times. 

 Here are 4 parenting tips for when you are feeling anxious or depressed

1. Practice Self Care 

Parents oftentimes forget to do simple things to take care of their bodies and mind. As a parent struggling with your own mental health challenges, it is even more crucial to do things that help you feel good. This includes eating healthy, exercising, and getting the right amount of sleep. Additionally, try things like meditation, yoga, and practicing gratitude. Although none of these are a cure, they do have a powerful impact on how you feel. 

2. Be Mindful of Your Words  

It is important to be mindful of the words you use when talking to yourself and when parenting your child. As a depressed or anxious parent, you may find yourself engaging in negative self-talk. This type of language can worsen anxiety and depression. Try to replace negative inner dialog with positive affirmations and self-care. This can help manage thoughts and feelings of hopelessness, guilt, and worthlessness that can come with parenting when you are feeling out of sorts. Similarly, using language that is too critical or harsh can lead to your child feeling judged or scared. Instead, practice using positive and encouraging language that helps your child focus on their strengths and abilities. Words such as “I can see how hard you're trying” and “I am proud of you for not giving up” can help kids with anxious parents feel supported, loved, and encouraged.   

3. Find a Support System  

A good support system is crucial for navigating parenting when you are feeling anxious or depressed. Reach out to trusted family members, close friends, or healthcare professionals who can provide a listening ear and comfort when needed. Creating a support system can help you take back some of the control you might be feeling about your mental health disorder. Finding support will also provide you with people you can turn to during tough times. You may also find that talking to others is a wonderful way to gain insight into how to better handle your anxious or depressed thoughts and emotions. If you have a partner it is important to remember that a supportive partner can be a major source of comfort as well. Lean on your partner and other members of your support system during challenging times. Talking it out and knowing that you are not alone can make all the difference.  

4. Seek Professional Help if Necessary 

 Your doctor or mental health professional can help you create a plan of action if you feel like your anxiety is becoming unmanageable. Having professional guidance can help you learn effective coping mechanisms for your anxiety and teach you how to manage your mental health disorder in a healthy way. In addition to private therapy, there are many other professional resources available to help parents with anxiety. Some include group therapy sessions and support groups, where you can connect with other parents who are dealing with similar issues. Having access to resources like these can be an invaluable source of support, comfort, and advice. It is important to remember that there are many options available for dealing with anxiety and depression, and seeking professional help, if necessary, can be a great first step in managing your mental health disorder and being the best parent, you can be. 

Receiving the best mental health services from Obsidian Counseling & Wellness

Anxiety and depression can be difficult emotions to deal with, but it is possible to effectively parent despite feeling this way. However, it can be difficult to do so. If you are feeling like your depression and anxiety are getting in the way of parenting or have reached a level that you cannot manage on your own, please contact Obsidian Counseling & Wellness. Our team will help you develop a plan to manage your mental health issues and give you the tools you need to be the best parent you can be. 

Mindful Walks and Places in Chicago You Can Take Them

Summertime is almost here, which means warmer weather, new flower blooms, and a few more daylight hours than in the wintertime. Starting in the springtime, our neighborhoods offer many opportunities for self-care and fresh air. Whether you are new to the Chicagoland area or have lived here your whole life, you may like to explore areas in your neighborhood from the lens of self-care. Below I will discuss mindful walks and some local places in the northern Chicagoland area where you can practice this technique.

Mindful Outdoor Walks

Mindful walks are an excellent way to connect to the present moment, break from anxious thoughts, move your body, and get some fresh air.

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is a state of awareness. When we are mindful, we nonjudgmentally notice what is happening in the present moment. Contrary to popular belief, the goal of mindfulness is not to have a blank mind but instead is noticing thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations as they happen. So, for example, if you are feeling angry, you state to yourself, "I am feeling angry." The goal is not to judge or change the feelings but instead to notice.

Some benefits of mindfulness

• Reduced symptoms of depression and anxiety

• Improved memory and focus

• Reduced Stress

• Improved ability to regulate emotions

• Improved satisfaction in relationships

• Increased mind-body connection

• Reduced rumination (which is when we get stuck on a thought or problem and play it repeatedly in our mind)

How do I go on a mindful outdoor walk?

1)    Go outside; this can be anywhere you choose, where you live, near where you work, or any place you would like to explore for today’s walk. (If the weather does not permit, you can practice this skill indoors as well).

2)    Start by noticing how your body feels with each step. Notice your breath. Think about each foot touching the ground (right, left, right, left) and the rhythm of the breath (in, out, in, out).

3)    Tune into your five senses: What do I see? What do I smell? What do I hear? What does the air taste like? What do I feel?

4)    Tune in to the rhythm of your walk, left foot, right foot, left foot, right foot; the rhythm of your walk can be an anchor of awareness to return to throughout the walk.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to practice mindful walking; use these steps as a guide to finding what feels suitable for you. The goal is to connect with the present moment.

If you’re feeling creative

Think of some other activities where you can similarly practice mindfulness. Here are some examples that I have thought of:

• Biking

• Kayaking

• Rollerblading

• Swinging on a swing set

• Drawing or painting

• Yoga

• Dancing

• Gardening

• Even doing the dishes! (I know that is an inside task but why not?)

 Please remember to use proper safety precautions when engaging in any above activities. 

Places to Practice Mindfulness in the Chicago Area

No matter where you are in the Chicagoland area, you can find beautiful places to practice mindfulness. As mostly Winnetka-based therapists, we love to visit the beaches along Lake Michigan, the downtown Winnetka bistros, shopping districts, and summer music festivals. Teens, young adults, and parents can get a break from the pressures of school with trails and parks, many near New Trier High School. But honestly, there are amazing places to mindfully walk & find inner peace throughout the Chicago area. So, here are some of our therapists’ other favorite places to practice mindfulness in the Chicago, IL area:

Forest Preserves of Cook County

• Feature over 350 miles of paved and unpaved trails and 70,000 acres of wild and preserved land.

• Walk along the trail, and tune into your senses. What does it sound like, are there any birds nearby, what does it smell like, do you see any flowers, what do your feet feel like on the trail?

• These locations also include trails for walking and biking

• The lagoons are lovely to look at and great for kayaking, fishing, and canoeing (rentals available)

• Some of these trails are dog-friendly trails to bring your four-legged friend along

• Picnic tables are available for an outdoor meal

• Birds, deer, and other wildlife nearby- maybe try your hand at some photography.

Lake Michigan

• Walk alongside the lake, and notice the temperature change, the breeze, and the sand. What does it smell like, and what do the waves sound like?

• Kayaks and paddleboards available for rental

• Some local beaches may offer yoga or various forms of exercise on the beach; check-in in with your town to see what it has to offer.

• Mindfully play in the sand, notice the texture, how the sand changes when mixed with water, and watch the hand fall between your fingers.

The Chicago Botanic Garden

• Walk around and explore the many different gardens of the Chicago Botanic Garden. This year the Chicago Botanic Garden is celebrating 50 years and is featuring a variety of garden exhibits for individuals to explore.

• 28 gardens and four natural areas on 385 acres, consisting of nine different islands.

• Take classes, stroll the property, or sit on a bench and take in these gardens' sights, smells, sounds, and even tastes. 

Counseling Services in Northbrook, IL

Mindfulness can have a huge impact on a person’s mental health. Still, you may sometimes need more support in the form of a professional counselor or therapist. If you are feeling overwhelmed or need help working through some of life's challenges, please reach out for counseling services. If you live in the state of Illinois, our Winnetka & Chicago based therapists would love to help. Our teen therapists believe in providing evidence based therapy and often incorporate mindfulness into counseling sessions, particularly if you share that you are making efforts to practice mindfulness on your own.

If you are ready to begin therapy, please take the steps below to get started:

1. Fill out a consult form here.

2. Begin working toward better mental health!

Other Mental Health Services in Illinois

Our therapists offer a wide range of mental health services to support your entire family focusing on providing evidence based care including incorporating mindfulness as well as other effective therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and EMDR. addition to anxiety treatment and teen therapy, we also offer counseling for depression, teen counseling, parent counseling, trauma therapy, therapy for work burnout & more. Because we offer online therapy and in person therapy in Northbrook, IL we are able to help anyone in the state of Illinois and the Northshore of Chicago. And, our therapists specialize in working with LGBTQIA+ individuals.

So, whatever your mental health needs may be, if you live in Illinois we'd love to provide you the support you're looking for.