Defeating the Covid Winter Blues
Well, this is certainly not were any of us wanted to be this winter. The desire to be with our families through the many winter holidays is going to be strong even though we know it will not be safe to do so.
The longer nights and colder temperatures in much of the US can be difficult to bear for many people, estimates are around 1 in 4 people experience negative changes during the winter, and this year we in mental health field expect it to be even more difficult as so many of our winter coping activities will not be available to us. So, in recognition of day light saving time messing with all of our internal clocks this month we are going to suggest some ways to beat the Covid winter blues.
First, we are going to talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder or SAD. SAD is a depression disorder that is related to seasonal changes. Most typically the symptoms begin in the fall and persist throughout the winter. Symptoms will look familiar to anyone who has experienced depression:
· Depression
· Anxiety
· Irritability
· Loss of energy
· Changes in sleep or appetite
· Weight gain or loss
· Feelings of hopelessness
· Trouble concentrating
The severity can vary between individuals, between years, and even across a person’s life time. The tips we are going to share here will be helpful to those with and without SAD.
Keep Active
How? YouTube has thousands of movement and exercise related videos. Whether it’s an actual exercise routine or an activity with the kids, movement of some sort is a good way to beat the winter blues. Timeout.com has a list of 101 things to do when you’re stuck at home.
Did you know you can take online classes for everything from cooking to geology? Both Coursera and The Great Courses (also available on Amazon Prime) have hundreds of options YouTube has also had an explosion of documentaries of various lengths and topics ranging from football to ancient history.
Stimulate Your Senses
Hand in hand with staying active is stimulating your senses. Maybe it’s time for a colorful accent wall. Or colorful nails. Or new smells in the home. Smell is actually our most powerful and evocative sense. None of the others can active a memory or sensation as powerfully as our sense of smell. This does not necessarily mean cover your house in plug-in oil diffusers, though of course you can! Find a smell you like and spritz it on your wrist, your pillow, or your favorite throw blanket. An orange kept in the freezer can give you a blast of citrus when you need it. Good old scented candles are also good, though be mindful of small children and pets.
Sun Lamps/Light Boxes
One of the causes of winter blues, and SAD in particular, is a reduction in Vitamin D. Sunlight triggers natural Vitamin D production. Those who love walks, no matter the temperature, can go outside for 10-30 minutes to get that Vitamin D production. For the rest of us, a sunlamp or light box (which run around $40) may be a good alternative.
Sun lamps do not cause vitamin D production. This is because quality sun lamps filter out UV light. In fact, do not buy a sun lamp that does not specify this. What sun lamps do do is regulate your body’s production of the hormones melatonin and serotonin. Melatonin helps regulate your sleep-wake cycle and serotonin helps regulate your moods.
There are some risks to be aware of, however.
1. Those with light colored eyes are more prone to eye strain
2. Those with a bipolar diagnosis should not use a sun lamp without careful consultation with a psychiatrist. Sun lamps can trigger manic episodes.
3. Some medications can make a person more sensitive to light
Additionally, the Cleveland Clinic recommends avoiding sun lamps if you have:
· Macular degeneration
· Connective tissue damage
· Existing skin cancers
· Diabetes
· Lupus
Be sure to read the instructions on your sunlamp for distance away from your eyes and amount of time. It is better to start low and work your way up. Also do not look directly at the sun lamp. Sun lamps are meant to be set at an angle to your face.
Check out The Cleveland Clinic, The Mayo Clinic and Healthline for more information.
Focus on the Positive
Yes, I know, this one sounds cliché but there is science behind it. Our brains are malleable and physically change shape in response to many, many factors. If you have ever heard the adage “Negativity breeds negativity” or vice versa for positivity that is because your brain has changed shape to be more attuned to the one or the other.
I regularly recommend clients take note of at least three good things that happened in their day. It does not have to be big. It can be as small as seeing a dog on the side work, or making it through the intersection before the light turned yellow. These will help your brain stay in “positive shape.”
Talk About It
One of the best ways to feel better is opening up and talking about how you are doing. I have had clients tell me they do not want to bring their family and friends down by whining or moping, especially because they are in the same boat right now. Some may not want to be reminded things are hard right now but many others benefit from sharing their feelings with a person who has been or is in the same boat. If nothing else, you can trade tips.
However, if your lethargy or sadness is continuing over days or weeks and making it difficult to function, reach out to a therapist or other professional for help.
Aim for a Healthy Diet
Of course this is going to be in here. We have all heard it. We all know eating healthy helps with mood and overall body health. But, we’re still going to include this in here. If you feel like reading a little more about current research check out this Forbes article.
Even though wintertime is a real draw for comfort foods try to focus on those fruits and veggies (particularly dark, leafy greens) as your budget allows. Complex carbohydrates, like whole grains, can also boost energy.
Nurture Your Spirit
Whatever this means to you. If you need some ideas try these from US News or these 50 ways to nurture your spirt.
As always, if you would like to speak to any of us here at Obsidian Counseling about helping you with symptoms like this please do not hesitate to reach out to us. You can contact us at the following:
Kari Holman –
(847) 450-0460
kariholmancounseling@gmail.com
Ilyssa Lasky –
(224) 255-4411
Additional Resources:
Staying Sane When the View Never Changes: Handling Family Life During Quarantine
Quarantine Mask
One of the unexpected side effects of living in prolonged quarantine is the upending of family norms, family schedule, and even family tolerance of each other. Families are currently stuck in a perpetual present absent of future planning and absent of private space. Even in homes without enough rooms for each member to claim their own, the truth is there is little day-to-day variety including seeing other people outside of family members. Or at the very least, being away from family members long enough to miss them such as after a day of work or school.
As a result tensions rise, patience gets thin, and even the way someone sneezes can become unaccountably annoying. So what can families do to help each other keep peace and stay sane while we continue to isolate for everyone’s safety?
Parents
The good news is, children and teens are versatile and adaptable and really can thrive in a variety of settings as long as good parenting and good family life is maintained. Ways to help your teens and children are outlined below. But for the parents, however, the uncertainty and fear on top of that bring to do right by your kids while maintaining safety, and structure and…is overwhelming.
1) This is a different type of situation that may call for a different kind of parent.
That’s okay.
2) This is a different type of situation that may turn you into a different kind of parent.
That’s okay, too.
3) Maintain aspects of your normal routine.
While they may argue to the contrary, children feel safer when they have a routine. Routines are predictable and thus not as scary. Keeping things predictable can lessen fear for children and remind parents there are things they can control. Not everything about your normal routine can be maintained during this time, of course, but maintaining the same bed times, meal times, and chore times gives everyone a firm base to stand on. Keep it simple.
4) Take care of yourself/selves
This means try to eat healthy, try to exercise (a walk around the block is great), and try to get enough sleep. Find ways to decompress and take breaks. If you have another adult in the family or older children, take turns watching the little ones so everyone can have some off time.
5) Make time for yourself/selves
Private adult time is more important now than ever. Take time to talk with each other. Date night can even still happen. I am a personal fan of The Art of Manliness’s “18 At-Home Date Ideas.”
6) Breathe! And assess
While it sounds clichéd taking deep breathes is physiologically and psychologically beneficial. If you are feeling overwhelmed or especially stressed out or just hit the “freak out” nerve, take a few deep breathes (having a private cry is also acceptable) and ask yourself a) Are we in immediate danger? B) How am I going to feel about this problem tomorrow? C) Is this situation permanent?
And if by “this situation” you mean the quarantine and the pandemic – no. It is not permanent. It is not the “new normal.” It will end.
Families with Children
Children rely on their parents for a sense of safety both emotionally and physically. It can be hard to know what to say when you yourself are also feeling scared and uncertain. As the quarantine continues you may be noticing your children are having new emotional outbursts and behavioral problems that were not there before. Remember, children do not have the brain development to fully perceive what they are feeling, the words to fully express it, nor the insight to identify cause and effect between their environment and their emotions.
1) First of all, be patient.
A lot to ask, I know.
2) Address your children’s fears
Answer your children’s questions about the pandemic simply and honestly. It is okay to say people are getting sick. Just follow it up with how rules like handwashing, mask wearing, and staying home help to keep the family and their friends safe.
3) Acknowledge and validate your child’s feelings
Children always want to feel heard, and now more than ever. You can absolutely say to your child “I can see that you are angry because you can’t have a friend over. It really stinks, doesn’t it?” Or if you do not know what has caused the behavior you can also say “Yeah, things are hard, aren’t they? Let’s figure out together what’s making you so sad right now,” and then whatever it is validate it.
Remember, validation should not be followed with “yes, but.” For example, “I know you’re sad because you wanted to play the game, but we have to share.” Instead, saying something like “I know you’re sad because you wanted to play the game. Can you help me find an answer that will help everyone?” This is validating and it also empowers your child to be part of the solution.
4) Tell your child before you leave the house
In a calm and reassuring tone tell you child where you are going, how long you will be gone, when you except to return, and what safety steps you are taking.
School-age children have a solid understanding of death and its permanence but they may not have a full understanding of diseases and microscopic organisms. For some children, Covid-19 may seem a ghostly and unseen threat that can whisk their loved ones away to the hospital. Therefore, let your children know rather than “disappearing.” Even a teen can benefit from a text message or a note on the kitchen table.
5) Just give them hugs.
Maybe your child is just too inconsolable to help you find a solution. Maybe your child is going along just fine. Either way, times are scary and extra hugs and “I love yous” can go a long way.
Families with Teens
Social isolation is particularly difficult for teenagers. Developmentally they are hardwired to be supremely focused on their peers. While this can be aggravating (questions about bridges and jumping come to mind) it is actually healthy behavior. What then can be done for these young people who are naturally peer-focused but denied meaningful access to them?
1) Share information about the pandemic and quarantine honestly
Be calm and factual in order to help ease your teen’s concerns. Discuss facts as they become available and be sure to correct and misinformation that you may hear. Reiterate the importance of safety protocols such as hand washing and wearing masks in public.
It is also not a bad idea to limit your teen’s consumption of news media if they are consuming hours of content. As an anxiety response they may be searching for an expert or authority that will say the magic words that will calm them. Or they may be trying to control their situation by consuming all of the information so they are extra prepared.
2) Stress staying home saves lives
The longer the quarantine goes on the antsier teens are going to get. Review the importance of social distancing as a way to slow the spread of the virus and protect everyone. Be sure to emphasize there is “no cheating” on the safety rules and that is it not okay to hang out with friends or engage in outdoor sports or gatherings.
3) Be on the lookout for increased depression and suicide risk
Talk with your teen about how they are feeling through all this. Yes, that can be like pulling teeth in the best of times. Watch for signs that your teen is struggling and may need extra support whether that is from you, another family member, or a mental health professional. Most therapists, including Obsidian Counseling, are conducting virtual video sessions.
Increases in depression can be expected in anyone during this time, and this is particularly true for adolescents who are not able to enact their peer-focused developmental mission. If your teen has a history of depression and/or suicide risk be particularly vigilant.
4) Risky times call for risky behaviors
This is always a risk with teens. The same factors that may cause an increase in depression in your teen may also cause an increase in desire for risky behaviors. Talk with your teen about how this is an especially important time to avoid vaping or smoking, for example. Medical experts have warned that these habits can harm lung health and immune function, which means a potentially increased risk for COVID-19 infection.
5) Make dinner a coming together time.
It can be a conversational time “My favorite part of today was…,” “Today I am grateful for…,” or a time to share a quiet moment. Dinner is a classic transitional time for the ending of the day and the beginning of the evening and winding down time. Even if you have a sulky teen sharing company with others, even silently, is beneficial.
6) Be generous with “private time.”
It is completely normal for teens to want more privacy away from their families. Even if they are not up to mischief. Given your teen(s) space for quiet time, music time, YouTube time, friend time, etc.
Teens are particularly keyed in to virtual spaces. Encourage virtual hangouts with their friends whether it is FaceTime, Zoom, gaming platforms, or hobby based websites like Discord, which is a chat service for gamers.
If you have a gamer teen or a social media teen now may not be a bad time to ease any time limits or restrictions as they can connect and interact with their friends through online games or social media such as SnapChat. Assuming, of course, this has not been a point of difficulty in the past.
7) Empower your teen through responsibilities at home.
I imagine if your teen reads that sentence they will come for my head. Allow me to elaborate: routines have changed and everyone is stressed. You may need some extra help in caring for younger siblings or keeping the house clean. While your teen may want to stay in their room all day and night, talk with them about how they can help out the other adults in the house.
Maybe they pick out a few dinners for the week, or even help plan and/or cook it. Or they can teach their siblings a dance, or a fun game, or just chase them around the backyard while you take a long, hot shower.
Being asked to step forward to help the other adults (none of this “pull your weight” or “act your age” nonsense) can be empowering for teens. Instead of “pull your weight” or “act your age” try “I could really use another pair of competent hands” or “I know you’d rather being doing X, but can I grab 20 minutes of your time?”
Everything about this quarantine is difficult. If you have questions, concerns, or think you or a family member would benefit from talking to a mental health professional please do not hesitate to reach out to us here at Obsidian Counseling & Wellness. We are offering video/ “telehealth” sessions to keep everyone safe during this time.