Self Care for now vs. Self Care for later

When it comes to self-care we have so many options. I like to remind my clients to approach their self-care with intention to increase the long-term effects of self-care. Being able to identify which types of self-care are beneficial in different scenarios can help individuals have more autonomy in making choices to improve overall well-being. It can be a useful exercise to divide self-care into two categories: self-care for present me and self-care for future me. This can be a helpful exercise because the reality is some self-care will not be enjoyed in the present but can help you in the future. 

 

Self-care for present me

 

Self-care for right now can be beneficial for distracting oneself from unpleasant emotions in the present and can be used as a way to take a step away and recharge. Sometimes I like to refer to this category of self-care as “treat yourself” self-care. At this moment we are choosing to temporarily exit the negative emotion and lean into something that we know will feel good and distract us from the feeling that is occurring. 

 

This may look like this:

  • Watching a comfort show

  • Playing a game

  • Buying yourself a gift

  • Eating a treat

  • Saying no to plans

  • Using a face mask

  • Taking a bath

  • Taking a day off

  • Taking a nap

 

These are all valid and useful forms of self-care and will effectively relieve discomfort in the present. However, if we solely rely on our immediate self-care it may not help us tend to the roots of what is bothering us and we may feel stuck and unable to move forward. 

 

Self-care for future me

 

Long-term self-care can be difficult to choose sometimes because it does not always offer that sense of instant gratification. However, engaging in long-term self-care can help us to build habits that create sustainable energy that lasts over time. Additionally, long-term self-care can help relieve some of the stressors and challenges that are at the root of our problems. 

 

This may look like this:

  • A consistent eating schedule

  • A consistent sleep schedule

  • Setting up health appointments

  • Drinking enough water 

  • Eating foods that provide nutrition

  • Practicing mindfulness

  • Sitting with difficult emotions

  • Connecting with other people

  • Meeting with your counselor 

  • Consistently moving your body in a sustainable way

  • Practicing self-compassion

  • Having difficult conversations

  • Cleaning oneself or one’s space

 

Both self-care for the present and self-care for the future is valuable to one’s self-care routine. The two types of self-care work in tandem. Choosing solely to use self-care for your present self may lead to a lower tolerance for daily stressors and negative emotions, and will lead to less relief in the long term. Solely participating in self-care for one’s future self without the recharging moments in the short term may lead to feelings of burnout over time. Looking forward to this upcoming week, how are you going to take care of yourself? Does your plan include both present and future you? If you are leaning towards one or the other, balance it out and add another task from the category that you are missing. Learning how to care for ourselves is a process learned over time, and choosing self-care for our future selves can be a challenge. 

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